One for the Books

So. St. Patrick's day. One of those big drinking holidays that more often than not turns out to be a big bust of the "wasn't this supposed to be the most fun ever, but all I did was wait around in long lines for beer all night?" nature. Well folks, 2006 will go down in history as the St. Patrick's Day that lived up to all possible expectations.

At the start of the night, I wasn't even going to go out. I'd been having major stomach pains all afternoon (which picked up where they left off and demobilized me for the rest of the weekend, but I got a repreive in the name of St. Pat), and as nobody has plans that seemed supremely fun, I'd more or less resigned myself to staying in. Perhaps seeing V for Vendetta. But when your mother calls and says she really wants to go out for St. Patrick's day but doesn't know who else to call, and the hopefully little lilt in her voice is so cute, well, there isn't much to debate.

We left our cars at home and took a cab up to the 4 P's in Falls Church. The line was massive, so we asked the cabby to keep on truckin into Clarendon. Got to Molly Malones at about 9:30, and there was no line and plenty of green-clad patrons, so we had a winner! We got a couple drinks, found a spot to stand, and set into crowd observation/chatter mode. It wasn't long before there was quite a commotion at the door as the Guinness team -- complete with a man-sized pint. One gregarious member of the engtourage, Gavin, started chatting mom and I up. This was the 26th bar they'd been to that day. Gavin introduced us to the Guinness brewmaster, straight in from Ireland. Yeah, he wasn't really. But that didn't keep us from calling him The Brewmaster the rest of the night. When they'd passed out a sufficient number of guiness light up button thingies, they were heading on down the road. But not without me and mom!

We all barrelled out of Molly Malones and into the stretch escalade, filled to the brim with free drinks. Inside were promoters from (obviously) Guinness, Harp, Red Bull (!), Miller, and more. But all I really drank all night was Harp. It was off to the Four Courts, where our entourage cut the line, got in for free, and drank for free all night. Not a shabby situation we'd wandered into.

The things I learned on Friday include: My mom and I are hot. My mom kind of made out with Stephen Stills once. It's really embarassing when a guy tells your mom he wants to "get down" with you. But she thinks it's hilarious. Bringing out your mom increases the number of men that hit on you by about 80% (seriously, random guys were coming up to me and out of nowhere asking me if I'd have brunch with them the next day, it was truly bizarre). Harp is really good! There are a lot of beer-related professions in Northern Virginia. Guys actually do use the confusing your mother for your sister line, and she really does eat it up. No giant pints are allowed inside Whitlows, but the pint's entourage is. It's really, really fun to go out with beer promoters. Slainte!

Next up: Cinco de Mayo!