Dear Mom

I had a good childhood. Really, I did. Privileged, lots of love, great friends, family, vacations, idyllic suburban setting, trips to the swimming pool, gigantic Christmas trees, fun babysitters, a skip it, moon shoes, dogs namedFritz and Bobo, cats named Punkin and Corky, and much, much more.

But there's one thing -- the one thing! -- that's always made me feel slighted when I look back on it. Why mom, why, did you have to take away my Snoop Sno-Cone maker? Sure it made a god awful mess, but I loved that thing. I loved it so much. My love for frozen sugary treats lives on to this day. I didn't understand it at the time and I still don't understand it today. Why did you take my favorite thing away from me, your only child, your good child who had curly blonde hair and was so cute?

I may never understand your reasoning, but at least, finally, I can get retribution. They're back on the market, mom. Me and my brand spankin' new Snoopy Sno-Cone maker are heading to your house to make a delicious, big old revenge-filled mess.

Love,
Me