Oh Good God, or, Live Blogging the VMAs

I'm watching the VMA pre-show. They're trying a new format this year -- I haven't quite figured it out but it involves being in a casino somehow. Thoughts so far:

• Lil Mama dressed in some sort of hooded jumper because she said it represented that she's "hip hop's baby."
  
• Megan Good seems pretty damn unpleasant. TI however -- I'd like to hang out with that guy.
  
• Nelly Furtado suffered an unfortunate blonde dye job, and is apparently a coke head and makes no sense and is a huge airhead. She babbled about how she almost wore the same dress as Alicia Keys, had to be reminded that she was on live television, inexplicably started congratulating the VJ (do they still call them VJs?) on his new job, and more. Train wreck!
  
• The girls from The Hills really are very, very pretty.
• The VJ's keep asking people questions like, "what does Vegas mean to you?"
  
• Other topics they're addressing with everyone: "Do you think Britney can make a comeback?" and the Kanye/50 Cent battle. Are these topics we really need multiple perspectives on?
  
• WOW, new blonde VJ (seriously -- what do they call these people now?) girl is crazy intense and the type of girl that if you got cornered talking to at a party would completely exhaust you.
  
• Jennifer Garner is freaking beautiful and so classy.
  
• I'd like to play craps with Sway and Common. That seem like fun.
  
• Who are Boys Like Girls? They're a big deal? Apparently they've had an "amazing year." And everything they've experienced recently has been "ridiculous."
  
• John Norris is dressed like he's going to Misshapes, including guyliner and a frayed skull scarf. It's making me kind of uncomfortable.
  
• They keep playing this one little dance rock riff that's a little too anxious to use repeatedly. Between that and John Norris, I'm getting stressed out.
  
• Apparently, everyone is really pulling for Britney to do well. And think the 50/Kanye thing is good for hip hop.
• I just realized that Fred Smoot and Ludacris look very similar. Or remind me of each other. Or something. Also: GO SKINS!
  
• This Nicole Scherzinger chick has got to just go away.
• Oh god, and she's performing with Lil Wayne. This guy is the worst.
• This taco bell commercial to "I'll Melt With You" is kind of creepy. Or maybe funny. I'm not sure.
  
• Ludacris just let me know that Virgos rules the world. I couldn't agree more.
  
• According to Kanye West, his new album is "ready for da clubs, ready for da cars." In case you were concerned that it wasn't quite there yet -- feel free to listen to it while you cruise.
• When asked if this battle is real or a marketing scheme, Kanye said, "It's definitely a marketing scheme!" At least he's honest.
• Lil Mama's silver baby jumper thing apparently also included a diamond passifyer. Awesome.
  
• Oh god, Paris Hilton. I might have to turn this off now.
• Ha, Sway told her to enjoy her freedom.
  
• Huh, Panic at the Disco wear less make up than I thought they would. And apparently, they were John Norris' inspiration for his look tonight. He's wearing way more makeup than I thought he would be. I'll try and stop commenting on it, but it's rilly weird.
• Oh dear. Britney. Really sad. She walked back and forth and shimmied a couple times, didn't do anything that could be considered actual dancing, filled the stage with lots of dancers so as to maybe take attention off of her (?), had a really bad weave that she spent the entire (bad) song fixing, wore a weird little bikini thing.... oh dear, what is Sarah Silverman gonna say about her... Celebs in the audience were actually laughing at her during her performance. Ouch.
• In lieu of having tons of performances, they're showing clips from performances at parties they've thrown leading up to the VMAs this week?
• Lil Mama looks like she's plotting Rhianna's demise.
• Why is JT so damn charming?
• OK, this OTHER taco bell commercial is definitely CREEPY and NOT funny. I'm sure about this one.
• WHAT THE HELL is this show I just saw a commercial for? It appears to be a bunch of reality show "stars", in some sort of american idol-ish rap competition? I don't want to live in a world where this is on tv and Veronica Mars gets cancelled.
  
• Whoa holy crap Chris Brown is one hell of a dancer. I mean DAMN.
• JT's stirring the pot and keeps mentioning how MTV needs to play more videos.
• Another oustanding leap forward for television programming: a reality dating show where a bisexual maxim model chooses her love from a house half full of hot lesbians, half full of hot straight guys.
• Oh god. And another one: Pageant Place -- a bunch of crowned beauty queens, livinge together. We're doomed.
• Apparently that blonde VJ I mentioned earlier didn't impress anyone. She only made the one appearance and then she was GONE, and apparently, replaced by the indestructable cheerleader.
  
• Also, Sarah Silverman did one standup bit at the beginning, and then vanished. MTV is very loosely defining the term "hosting" it seems. This new show format is kinda weird, but not too terrible.
• Fall Out Boy is apparently the backing band for absolutely everyone tonight. Also, Rhianna's not that good of a singer live. But she sure is adorable!
  
• Nelly's wearing a plain white tshirt and drinking a draft beer out of a plastic cup.
  
• Alicia Keys looks really scary as she's performing.
  
• Yeah, I stopped doing this about halfway through, but, in summation, at the end of the show I was just shouting "JT!!!!!!!"

Apparently I wasn't the only one live blogging the VMA's. But I may have been the only one who didn't plan to do it ahead of time.