The fact that this conversation makes 100% sense to me is why soaps are SO AWESOME

me: I watched As the World Turns on Friday. It is CRAZY
Beth: stupid kim
get OVER it
me: BOB & KIM ARE NOT MARRIED!?!?!
that is bananas
Beth: they are married
it's their anniversary
25th
me: i know! but did you watch the whole ep?
Beth: umm
i guess maybe not
i was cleaning while watching
me: margot found out that the pastor that married them
was actually a con artist
currently in jail
for fake marrying lots of people
Beth: OF COURSE
me: so they are NOT MARRIED
Beth: WHAT THE FUCK
me: and kim is like, i don't want to be married to you anyway. and bob is like MARRY ME WOMAN! and she is like NO!
Beth: so really he didnt have an affair sith susan
since they weren't really married
ha
Beth: stupid kim
me: well bob's being a dick
Beth: "the new hospital wing blah blah blah"
that LUKE is paying for
with damian's money
who is now in jail
for faking his death to try and frame holden
me: whaaaaaaaaaaaaaat!?!??!
oh my god
hahaha
i didn't know any of that
and also, allison? why is she being played by someone so old and unattractive?
Beth: they're all old
me: and what happened with her and casey?
Beth: it's annoying
she slept with mick
who was played by the guy that played jonathan on GL:
but this mick guy was actually james stenbeck
it was so crazy
me: WHAT!?!?!
Beth: hahahahaha
yeah like
before james died
me: WHAT?!?!?!
Beth: he brainwashed this guy mick
into thinking he was james
and like
me: HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA
Beth: gave him this mission
me: hahahahahahhahahahahaha
Beth: to go and destroy everyon ein oakdale's lives
me: bwahahahhahaha
Beth: then alison ended up sleeping with him
and during their wedding
mick/james
came into the church
me: ha
Beth: and started shooting things up with a gun
me: oh em gee
Beth: hahhaa
me: just like alan spaulding
or was it roger? no, alan shot somebody at alan michael's wedding? to elani?
yeah!
Beth: yeah
me: that took me a while to figure out
Beth: alan did that
me: oh my gosh, i love this conversation
Beth: i love that jack and carly are back together
me: they are!?!?!? THAT IS GREAT!
who is this person
that katie was married to?
that died?
she and henry mentioned her
Beth: jack's brother. and jack accidentally shot and killed him
me: whoa
also, henry is not gay? and he is doing it with BARBARA!?!?!!?
wtf!!
Beth: yeah but he really is in love with katie
me: well duh
i don't understand
any of the katie stuff
Beth: so
ok
me: haha
Beth: she was married to brad (jack's brother) who came back like maybe 2 years ago?
brad actually USED to be with janet
who jack was married to recently and just divorced to get back with carly
brad and janet had a kid--liberty who currently is battling luekemia
anyways
brad and katie were on a tv show together
one of barbara's shows at WOAK
they fell in love
blah blah blah
got married
katie got pregnant
brad got shot
died the same day katie had the baby
katie is all depressed. BUT THEN
brad's ghost comes back
and henry CAN SEE AND TALK TO HIM
me: WHOA
ok
ok
so
katie has a kid
ok
wasn't something going on with katie & jack for a while too?
Beth: yeah
and then katie and this new neurologist
me: what about simon?
Beth: oh yeah
simon came back
so after jack killed brad
he was all distraught
and he went around trying to find people
that could take care of katie and the baby
who else was katie in love with?
Beth: simon and?
me: there was somebody
like when simon was gone
Beth: yeah wtf is his name
me: wasn't it mark?
Beth: no
me: the brothers
cos... cos something
cassanov
mike casanov?
Beth: MIKE
yes mike
me: http://www.soapcentral.com/atwt/whoswho/mike.php
did jack kill brad on purpose?
Beth: no it was an accident they were trying to find this bad guy
ok so jack first went and found mike
but mike was married
to this lady
who had kids
and whatever
that was it
then he and carly went and found simon
me: HA
Beth: and simon came back
and lived with katie and the baby for ahwhile
and then katie was going to leave with simon
me: oh my god
hahahahaha
Beth: but then changed her mind at the last minute
also the whole damien thing was insane
he came back like maybe a year ago?
and holden went on this trip to KY to get some horses for the farm
Beth: and his truck went off the side of the road
and everyone thought he was dead
BUT HE WASNT
damien just made it look like he was
so that he could comfort lily
and then he and lily ended up getting together
and then getting married
me: oh my god
Beth: and then holden came back
so damien and lily were married again
but then meg figured out
what damien was doing
and so damien had her committed
made her look like she was crazy
but then molly came back
and she and holden got to the bottom of it
and got together
and then the whole damien faking his death thing happened.
me: jeezus.
Beth: yeah. good stuff.