Don't you know it's almost my birthday?
Oh hello, feeling like total crap out of absolutely nowhere. Where'd you come from? I'd like you to leave me alone asap please. There are happy hours and parties and science and lions and tigers waiting to celebrate my birth quite soon. So, um... would you mind? I'd really appreciate it. Thanks!
Update: Seriously? Fever? Chills? Acheyness? WTF, body? *grumblegrumble, feelingsorryforself, grumble*
Update 2: So other coworkers are experiencing the exact same thing. I'm going to jump to the only logical conclusion: we're victims of germ warfare. Or apparently heat exhaustion? Though it doesn't seem likely cause I haven't spent extensive time outside. But that sounds exactly like what's happening to me. On the bright side maybe that means it'll all be over tomorrow?
Update 3: OK this is totally weird. I'm not 100% yet, but the crazy fever/chills/aches seem to have dissipated after a few hours of intense napping under a million blankets. This was a truly bizarre experience.