The G is not on IM right now

And she'd normally be the recipient of the following ramblings. So, enjoy, everybody else! 

1. I went to Starbucks this morning for the first time in a long time. Maybe a year? It's really been a while. I've switched almost completely to Dunkin Donuts. But this morning I wanted something espresso-based, and as the immediate surroundings of my house, the route to work, and Tysons Corner offer no non-'bucks options in that arena, I caved. 

2. They made a cool new invention! Have you seen these? I just found them by googling "starbucks sticks that make your drink not spit up on you and spill on your cup holder." You may be an evil empire, Starbucks, but that's pretty darn clever. 

3. Did you know they have oatmeal now? It's pretty tastey. Obviously, nothing is as good as making it at home yourself and filling it with delicious nuts and berries and bananas, but as a mass-produced option, I'd say this ranks above au bon pain. 

4. Hm. There is an au bon pain in Tysons by my office. But their coffee kind of stinks? At least the one time I tried it it did. Not that Starbucks coffee is delicious. But it's a more familiar kind of lacking. Anyhow, you know what else sucks about au bon pain? Their sandwiches! All of them are just gross! I don't know how you can mess up sandwiches so horribly, but congratulations ABP. You did it. However, they do have pretty awesome soup. And little snacky veggies and fruit and candy. And the bread that goes with the soup is good, so I can rule that out as the reason for their sandwiches sucking. 

5. Speaking of terrible sandwiches, let's discuss Panera. Why is everything always so dry? And how do you take relatively good ingredients and make them taste that weird? And one time, I was there with a bunch of people, and a guy I was with took a bite only to find half of a cooked cricket in his panini. And they mess up my order every single time. I've been boycotting Panera for maybe 3 or 4 years. For this reason. But somebody told me that they have good grilled cheese, so maybe I'll try it. But if there's a cricket in my sandwich, I will lose my everloving mind. 

6. And Subway. Subway is obviously the worst sandwich place on earth. The vegetables taste like plastic or vinnegar, the meat gives me the heebie jeebies and tastes, also, like plastic. The only options you have for not feeling disgusting afterward are veggie sub or tuna. 

7. All of this is to say, someone please open up a good cafe in Tysons Corner. You will make a killing. The Subway next to my building is the most profitable Subway in the country. Seriously. We need you, coffee and sandwich purveyors! You're our only hope! 

8. There really wasn't a reason for me to number this list, was there?