Please excuse my language, but this has to be said.

Dear Girl That Used to be on The Hills and I Guess Has Her Own Show Now --

Shopping is hard! You and I both know it, girl. You have a profound understanding of this topic, since you're In Fashion and all. So I understand putting on a few ill-conceived items every now and again. Believe me, I've worn some ridiculous shit in my day. And I'm not even In Fashion! So please take this advice with a grain of salt.

Here goes: when you're looking for a bikini -- one to wear on your rigorously earned beach body, atop your meticulously hairless skin -- you might want to avoid swimsuits that give the distinct impression of a giant, untamed muff.

Yours,
blogs t r e t c h