Today's Best Internets, and How to Get Rid of Fruit Flies

I continue to sweat The Awl. And things the Awl People do Elsewhere.

"Australians: too stupid to be racist?"

"Who will prevent these man-eaters of commerce from persuading me that my personal escape from Thunderdome must not be Pepsi-fueled?"

Un-alw-related: Patches the Human Horse

Unrelated to the internet but sort of to technology: I got a stupid speeding ticket from a stupid speeding ticket giving camera in stupid Maryland. Maryland!

And to wind down this completely threadless discussion, I am going to provide a public service, complete with visual aids. It's fruit fly season! Is your kitchen home to dozens of little floaty bastards? Mine sure was! Until I tried a method that Catherine read about on the internet (like this one that Emily describes, but with More Stuff!). I have killed tens and tens and tens of fruit flies. My fruit is safe, thanks to this fool proof method!

Step 1: Make a delicious cocktail of apple cider vinegar and a hint of dish soap. Fruit flies sure do like weird stuff!

Step 2: Cover this cocktail with some plastic wrap, lock it down with a rubber band, and poke a few holes in the top. Like when you were trying to keep fireflies alive as a kid. But the opposite of that.

Step 3: Strategically place the Stupid Fruit Fly Cocktail in a place they, like, already love hanging out.

Step 4: BASK IN THE CARNAGE!