blogs t r e t c h

between a roux and a bechamel

Thursday, April 13, 2006

Local Music, like, Rocks for teenagers, and stuff!

From one of the worst, most pointless articles I've ever read, comes a statement with such misplaced motivations that it hurts my feelings:
"If I can't do music, I'm going to have to lose my earrings and sell out," he said. "Given the way we look, I don't see ourselves doing anything else."
Seriously? Seriously. First of all, the entire article is complete focus-free crap. Kids are in a band! They scream! They almost broke up! They changed their image so they could be more band like! They make fun of other people who dress like them! They need to stay in a band so that the spaces in their ears don't go unused! This is everything wrong with scenesters. I always knew I didn't like emo, and now I know why: crying about your girlfriend is apparently not a way to express yourself, but a way to get famous and be cool. Yuck. Just yuck.

I also particularly hate the part that derides people who just come to shows because they listen to Fallout Boy, but don't know the roots of where that music came from.

a) You guys are not musicians. You're looking for a niche to define yourselves by. Akin to the Klosterman Real World effect, you're saying hey! I'm in an emo band! It makes me special. Don't proclaim generations of inspiration, because you have clearly modeled yourselves off of this guy. And I'm slighly uncomfortable that this is the second mention he's gotten on my blog today.

b) Good for those people going to the shows! Regardless of what they listen to or don't, doing things like going to concerts is precisely how you learn new music and how to appreciate new things.

c) I hope you weren't turned off to music in general by these shows you've been going to. Your classmates, the ones in the band, are even less cool than Fallout Boy.

d) Screamo sucks. You guys don't even like doing screamo -- your lead singer's got a throat ache, and the chick jeans you all went out and bought hug his balls too tight. The only reason you started screamo-ing is that you were all strummy and sounded like everyone else. Well, now you (probably) sound like every other screamo band. Only lamer. I'm building up quite a bit of unnecessary hatred for this band of 18 year olds that I've never listened to before. I just really hate manufactured crap that tries to pass itself off as being unique and artistic. If you're going to be manufactured, embrace it! Don't feign ennui and artistic lament. Get yourself a sponsorship from Candies, perform at a fictional club on a teen soap, contribute a song to an Amanda Bynes movie soundtrack! Then I can at least respect your honesty.

I hope these guys grow out of their horrible poserosity as their teen years dwindle.

And I hope that this is the first article this writer's ever written, because it's awful. Are you related to the band members? There's no conceit here -- screamo exists! Teenagers -- in and out of bands -- have MySpace pages! NoVa communites have venues where teen bands play! Being in a band is like, hard, but totally cool! And way better than being a waitor! What the hell is the point of this article?!?!

So, um, what did you guys think of the article? And, thanks Ryan, for pointing this out to me and injecting massive doses of ire into my morning.

UPDATE: The DCist take on this drivel

4 Comments:

Anonymous jenna said...

Ha! Blogstretch all fired up!
Yeah, while I agree that the article is pointless, it might be of some interest to the demographic of 60+ Washington Post readers who will mutter "Kids these days..." under their breath.
Ah, the uncertainty and angst of a NoVA teenager who is just trying to be a little different. I'm sure they inspired their entire school to believing screamo and emo are "trendy" and it had nothing to do with the changing face of TRL over the past couple of years. They just want to be cool. That happens in high school a lot.
I, too, abhor that music and it hurts my ears to even think about listening to it for longer than 6 seconds. Much like my older brother (who back in high school was emerging from the grunge/metal era of rock in the early nineties) could not for the life of him figure out why I actually liked the Dave Matthews Band in high school (late nineties pansy rock). Everything is a reaction to what came before it, this screamo bullshit is a reaction to the saccarine pop of the early 2000's.
hey, I don't spend my days and nights sleeping outside of Tower for "Dave" tickets anymore. There is hope for these boys too!
Kids these days...

10:43 AM  
Blogger Blogs t r e t c h said...

You're definitely right, your "Dave" analogy is dead on. I misplaced my anger at the kids in the band when it should have been placed entirely on the slack ass journalist who couldn't decide what the hell this article was about, so he thought he'd throw all this wacky stuff together, free form, and see what happened! These are just today's Gumbas. Someday they could be Janel & Anthony, or Muelle, or other quality bands. But this article still sucks.

Unless its really high level form meets function, and was trying to reflect the fractured reasoning and non linear nature of current teen culture, MySpace, this genre of music, etc. But I doubt that.

10:51 AM  
Anonymous jenna said...

You need to start writing for the Washington Post!

12:07 PM  
Anonymous jenna said...

Dude, the Goombas rocked!!!
You know they did!
haha...
high school. I wouldn't go back for a million dollars.

12:09 PM  

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