Dear Random MySpace Dudes

Writing me messages with subject lines like "Hey Shorty" do not intice me. Neither does telling me you "wanna kick it sometime," or that you like my page and want to get to know me. Pictures of you with your shirt off don't make me want to get to know you. (Same can be said for pictures of you posing with your motorcycle/muscle car/tattoo artist.) Neither does a comment in the favorite books section of your page about how reading is lame. Or if all of your friends displayed on your page are 19 year old girls in bikinis with boob jobs and bleached hair. In fact, unless you are the genetic meld of Jake Gyllenhaal and Matthew McCaunaughey, and your message to me is a transcript of the dream I had last night, I'm not going to be at all interested in anything you have to say. I appreciate the gumption it takes for a guy to approach an unknown girl, but one sentence about how I seem cool, or like a "down ass white girl" isn't gonna do the trick.

Thanks for listening, and better luck next time,
Amanda

Update: No lie, got this within a few minutes of posting this post: " oh my you are hot, do you have boyfriend? "