A Contest

A little background: After catching up on my Sarah Haskins, I was clicking around Current and landed on 5 Lame Rap Songs That People Like, hosted by a guy named Sergio. My initial reaction, as it usually is to people named Sergio that turn out not to be fat, was, but wait... I thought you said your name was Sergio? Where's your gut. See! You just did it again! "Hi, I'm Sergio." Prove it! But then, I got over that, and this "Sergio" character made me laugh a lot. Then I watched his Top 5 Songs to Have Sex To, and decided I want to share some jelly beans and maybe an apartment with Sergio. Or maybe just watch more of his videos. Anyway, then I read his bio. It's hilarious.

Sergio would do you a favor if you asked him and expects the same in return. So watch him every week on the White Hot Top 5!

Sergio is just like you and wants to be your friend. He is one of the nicest people I know except if he is hungry then he's a jerk. Sergio
peaked maybe a little too early when he was awarded, "wittiest" back in 8th Grade. Before rocking it with Infomania, he worked at The Showbiz Show with David Spade and the hilarious Craig Ferguson Show.

Sergio is a gracious winner, he loves picking flowers, licking stamps, passing out flyers to
strangers, putting out amazing energy, beating you at something you're really good at, and the occasional light pillow talk.

You know what I hate, and suck at? Describing myself in official capacities. For examples, see my DCist* and IFA profiles. How much do those suck!?! SO MUCH! So, here's your challenge: write me a bio. You can do it in the style of DCist or IFA, or just, ya know, freestyle it. Keep in mind that I'll probably couple it with the twinkle smile photo. If I actually use your profile somewhere, I'll reward you with some sort of public display of affection on the internet.

*Oh wait! I now see that we don't have profiles anymore on DCist. Hollar atcher redesign! That's nice. But trust me: it was pretty terrible.UPDATE: Aaron points out we do in fact still have bios on DCist, they're just not attached to our names anymore. See: here.