A word to the Guise
A little theory has been budding for a while now and I thought that, for the sake of men and women alike, I'd share it with all you male blogstretch readers.
Guys are constantly complaining that women are "crazy." Crazy is loosely defined as getting mad "for no reason," or being "overly emotional." I would like to let you know a very simple avenue to not pissing women off. It seems so logical to all my girlfriends I've discussed it with. If guys could simply process it, there would be - and this is a rough estimate - about 80% less drama or hard feelings.
Don't say you're going to do something you don't plan on doing.
Not gonna call? Just say "goodnight."
Don't actually want to go to that party tomorrow? Just say "thanks, but I've got other plans."
No intention of taking her out on that date? Just don't ask in the first place.
The thought of this approach scares the crap out of guys. I've been told "but we don't wanna hurt a girl's feelings, so we say what we know she wants to hear." You know what that's called? Lying. When you tell us those "things we want to hear," you're setting up an expectation. Not fulfilling that expectation, that's where you get into trouble. As much as we like for guys to ask for our numbers and things of that ilk, the reason we like that is because of what will follow. If it's an empty promise, it means absolutely nothing but a downgrade your status. Sure, we may be vaguely miffed by the lack of a request or an invitation, but knowing that there's no hope of future contact or activity leaves us nothing to wonder about. It's the "is he gonna call?"s that bunch us up into high strung bitchiness.
So, the moral of the story is, if you want to avoid conflict, realize that "I'll give you a call" isn't a polite way to end a conversation. In the mind of a woman, it is a promise, and not following through is breaking that promise. Just don't say things that you don't mean, and you'll avoid heaping spoonfulls of conflict.
There's the theory. Have at it.