How arrrrrrrrrr you?

My life pretty much rules. I've had yet another great weekend, highlighted in particular by two things:

1) The arrival of Tinker & Stinker

Mom and I have finally decided we're ready to move on after the passing of our beloved Corky. We got two kittens, brothers from the same litter, at the pound on Thursday. I can not express how in love with them we both are. Tinker is mom's, he's smaller with more orange in his fur. He's jumpier, but more willing to sit in your lap. Stinker is mine, bigger and more grey, with the prettiest face (other than Corky of course, who as we all know had the world's most absurdly beautiful kitty face). Stinker is very curious and clever; he's lovier than Tinker (so far at least), but still won't sleep actually on my stomach/lap. They both lick my fingers and nose to show affection, which is frickin adorable. Tinker gets too excited when he's doing it though, and bites a little. Anyhow, kittens rule. They're quite the explorers, so their middle names are Louis and Clark (thanks Joey). I'm sure 99% of you reading this do not give a crap about my new kittens' personalities, so I'll move on to the second weekend highlight.

2) Pirate Jokes

For some reason, this came to be the theme of going out both nights this weekend. It started with Sam, Joey and I, and extended to Liz, Steve and Derik on Saturday. I'm gonna try to remember most of them, but if you remember any others or simply have any others, please add on. Also, I'm making up a bunch of these as I compile them, so don't get your feathers ruffled if you don't remember hearing these ones Liz, some are brand new! :) And, I've edited some of them to make their original intentions be better....jokes (e.g., the Ark joke).

What's a pirate's disease?
Sarrrrrrrrs

What does a pirate write with?
A maarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrker

What's a pirate's favorite planet?
Marrrrrrrrrrrrrrs

Who's a pirate's favorite person Derik has hooked up with?
Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrtemis

What's a pirate's favorite biblical story?
Noah and the Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrk

What happens on a pirate's birthday?
A parrrrrrrrrrrrty

If somebody asked a bunch of them, hey, are you guys pirates? They'd say,
Yes we arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

What does the pirate have under his eye patch?
A scarrrrrrrrrrrrr

What does a pirate use for navigation?
The starrrrrrrrrrrrrrrs

¿Qué es una cosa favorita de pirata de hacer?
Bailarrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Where does a pirate like to drink?
At the barrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

What's a pirate's favorite thing to smoke?
A cigarrrrrrrrrrrr

What's a pirate's favorite country?
Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrmenia
(Or, The United Arrrrrrrrrrrab Emerates)

Who's a pirate's favorite Disney character?
Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrriel

What's a pirate's favorite fast food place?
Arrrrrrrrrrby's

What's a pirate's favorite state?
Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrkansas

Who's a pirate's favorite action hero?
Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrnold

What's a pirate's favorite type of ruler?
A czarrrrrrrrrrrrr

What's a pirate's favorite way to fight?
To sparrrrrrrrrrr

What's a pirate's favorite thing to fix his ship with?
Tarrrrrrrrrrrrrr

What did the pirate have at his wedding?
A cash barrrrrrrrrrrr

What's up with the way pirates talk?
It's bizarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrre

What's a pirate's favorite instrument?
A guitarrrrrrrrrrr

What's a pirate's favorite band?
The Goo Goo Dolls

What's a pirate's favorite way to say goodbye?
Aurevoirrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Where did the pirate's father work?
On a farrrrrrrrrrrrrm

Where did the pirate work as a teenager?
The pool's snack barrrrrrrrrrr

What was the pirate in high school?
A track starrrrrrrrrrr

Where did the pirate steal from?
The cookie jarrrrrrrrrrrr

What's a pirate's favorite snack?
Granola barrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrs

What's a pirate's favorite form of currency?
Kuwaiti Dinarrrrrrrrrrr

Where's a pirate's favorite place to hang out on a train?
The dining carrrrrrrrrrrrrr

When the pirate lost his leg, where did he go?
The E.Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

What's a pirate's favorite SUV?
A Blazerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Who's a pirate's favorite Redskin?
Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrt Monk

Who's a pirate's favorite basketball player?
Charrrrrrrrrrrrles Barkley

What's a pirate's favorite movie?
Charrrrrrrrrrrrrley and the Chocolate Factory
(Or Farrrrrrrrrrrr & Away)

What does a pirate wear when he's cold?
A scarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrf

Who does a pirate hope will die soon?
Parrrrrrrrrrrrrrris Hilton

Who's a pirate's favorite lead singer?
Chris Marrrrrrrrrrrtin

Where does a pirate plant flowers?
In the garrrrrrrrrrrrrrrden

Who is a pirate's favorite person at this table?
Derrrrrrrrrrrrrik

What happens when a pirate eats beans?
He farrrrrrrrrrrrrts

Who's a pirate's favorite dictator?
Hitlerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Where does a pirate keep his hay?
In a barrrrrrrrrrrrrrrn

Yeah, about 80% of those I just came up with right now. Help me remember more from the other night! Or, add more in!

Also: Today is probably gonna rule, cause we're going here to see this. Should be faaaantastic. According to Sam, Lauren Hoy says it's "Fucking Awesome."