Do you see it?

Alyssa swears up and down that I look like Natalie Portman, especially in particularly smiley moments (ya know, if I were shorter and brown-haired and brown-eyed). She gets Scarlettet Johansen a lot, mostly from drunk guys. And in this picture of the two together, well.. do you see it?

Alyssa spent the morning looking for pics of us both displaying our respective Scarletocity and Portmantude, but we came up with lots of "you can kinda see it...."s. So you'll have to use your first hand knowledge. What's funnier in the resemblance realm is that Alyssa's always reminded me of Katherine Heigl, though people tell me I look like her all the time. And the two of us look... nothing alike. Alyssa's true doppleganger, however, is Laura Prepon. Big time. I kind of lost the point of this post somewhere. So ah, here's to kind of sometimes sort of looking like famously hot women!

UPDATE: OK, yeah, maybe.

Various & Sundry Items Found While Cleaning Out my "Pharmacy Drawer" at Work

• A plethora of condiments, mostly ketchup, mustard, salt and pepper packets
• Many plastic utensils
• Full cards of hair ties and pins
• Advil, tylenol, midol, maalox, sudafed, lactaid, dayquil
• Aspercream
• Hydrocortisone cream
• Neosporin
  
• Band Aid brand first aid antisceptic foam
  
• Purel x 3
• Visine
• Lotions x 7
• Hairspray
• A coterie of glasses & contact lens care supplies
• Various brands of granola bars and the like, only one of each kind
• 3 miniature jars of jam
• Shout wipes
• Gum, mints, candy and breath strips galore
• Tooth paste and brush
• Floss
• Gummy Bears
• Hundreds of cough drops
• 1 jewelry box full of safety pins
• 1 film canister full of safety pins
• Nail files x 4
• Clear nail polish
• Nail polish remover
• Various make up items
• Stress releif cream

I am, as you can see, ready for just about anything. Things I didn't even know I was ready for.

The Way I See Things

1. The media stops publishing pictures and storeis about useless, detrimental, good for nothing trustfund fu**s.



2. They dry up and blow away.

3. Collective national IQ shoots up 20 to 30 points. STD levels plummet. Democrats take over the house, the senate and the white house (because useless, detrimental trustfund fu**s worldwide were stripped of power and pull). A mass movement of Reasonable Behavior spreads across the world and a smart happy good deeds cloud encompasses the earth.

Thank Jeebus for Rolling Stone

Cause without it, those starving artists The Beach Boys and their little album that could, Pet Sounds, never would have had a chance.

Grab Your Keenex

Nominee for most instantly depressing headline of all time:

"60 Puppies Die in Vehicle Fire"

Revealing my out-of-the-loopyness in the name of curiosity

When did the Black Cat put that bathroom in upstairs?

Office Fans -- Cover Your Eyes!

I just mosied on over to the Best Week Ever blog and saw a headline about the New York Times spoiling The Office's romance cliffhanger. Since I dedicated my entire weekend to absorbing each and every moment of The Office Season 2 on DVD (including loads and loads of extras that are probably the best of any DVD extra offering I've ever seen) in anticipation for this week's premiere, I threw my hands over my eyes and got out of there as fast as my clicking finger allowed. Now I sort of plan on staying away from all pop culturey blogs for the next few days... think I can do it? Oh, and I will also stay away from the NYT, but that shouldn't be hard, since I.. generally do. Anyhow, Office fans, be warned!

I Love My Dad

"Yeah I've been that stadium. Pissed on the floor."

And it gets better! It wasn't even durring a game!

Turns out, he was in Irving, TX playing golf, and the caddy told him that they leave the stadium open all the time. So, when he was done with his round, he drove to the stadium, parked his car, walked inside, went into the men's room, and pissed on the floor! In the name of the REDSKINS!

Now, let's make the most out of the rest of this game and piss on 'em twice.

My truth, my truth my truth my truth. My lovely lady truth -- check it out!

Scene: Matt Lauer interviews Fergie (Ferg) before she goes on stage to promote her new album

Big Matt: So why did you decide to reveal all of your problems with crystal meth right now? (paraphrase)
Fergie: I just wanted this album to be my truth (exact quote)

((goes on to perform "London Bridge" -- whose lyrics are as follows))

Oh shit (oh shit)
Oh shit (oh shit)
Oh shit (oh shit)

Are you ready for this?
Oh shit (oh shit)
Ohhhhh
It's me, Fergie
The Pimp!
Paulo!
Fergie Ferg, what's up, baby?

[Verse 1]

When I come to the club, step aside.
Part the seas, don't be havin' me in the line.
V.I.P., 'cause you know I gotta shine.
I'm Fergie Ferg, and me love you long time

All my girls get down on the floor,

Back to back, drop it down real low.
I'm such a lady, but I'm dancing like a ho,
'Cause you know
I don't give a fuck, so here we go!

[Chorus]
How come everytime you come around,
My London, London bridge, wanna go down like,

London, London, London, wanna go down like,
London, London, London, we goin' down like…

How come everytime you come around,
My London, London bridge, wanna go down like,
London, London, London, wanna go down like,

London, London, London, we goin' down like…

[Bridge]Now As The drinks start pouring,
And my speech start slurring,
Everybody start looking real good.

[Verse 2] Grey goose got your girl feeling loose.

Now I'm wishin' that I didn't wear these shoes. (I hate heels)
It's like everytime I get up on the dew,
Paparazzi put my business in the news.

And I'm like get up out my face, (oh shit)
'fore I turn around and spray your ass with mace. (oh shit)

My lips make you wanna have a taste. (oh shit)
You got that?
I got the bass.

[Chorus]
How come everytime you come around,
My London, London bridge, wanna go down like,
London, London, London, wanna go down like,

London, London, London, we goin' down like…

How come everytime you come around,
My London, London bridge, wanna go down like,
London, London, London, wanna go down like,
London, London, London, we goin' down like…


[Bridge 2}
Aah, da, da, da, da, do, do, do, do
Me like a bullet type, you know they comin' right
Fergie love em' long time
My girls support right?
Aah, da, da, da, da, do, do, do, do
Me like a bullet type you know they comin' right

Fergie lve em' long time
My girls support right?

[Verse 1]
When I come to the club, step aside.
Pop the seats, don't be hatin' me in the line.
V.I.P., 'cause you know I gotta shine.
I'm Fergie Ferg,give me love you long time


All my girls get down on the floor,
Back to back, drop it down real low.
I'm such a lady, but I'm dancing like a ho,
'Cause you know
I don't give a fuck, so here we go!

[Chorus]
How come everytime you come around,

My London, London bridge, wanna go down like,
London, London, London, wanna go down like,
London, London, London, we goin' down like…

How come everytime you come around,
My London, London bridge, wanna go down like,

London, London, London, wanna go down like,
London, London, London, we goin' down like…

Fuck you, bitches.

One Parting Thought Before You Leave the Office

A Lesson in Lexicon

v o x x y m i a: shady is like "damn where'd she go"

v o x x y m i a: sketchy is like "damn where'd my wallet go"

So Geeky It Left Me Breathless

Personalized plate: PWNZARD

Drumroll Please

If you're a regular DCist reader you already know all about it. But let me take a moment to point everyone else's attention in the direction of Unbuckled 4! It's the fourth installment of our always fun, always popular, and always wonderful concert series, Unbuckled. This time around, we're featuring the local talents of Middle Distance Runner and The Vita Ruins. Tons of good word of mouth and press are following both bands around these days, so it's not a show to be missed.

Not only is it Unbuckled, but we'll also be celebrating DCist's 2nd anniversary. We'll have the musical stylings of bluestate, and some lovely door prizes courtesy of great local businesses.

So come one, come all, to DC9 (which is right around the corner from the 9:30 Club -- at the corner of 9th & U) at 9pm. $8 will get you in on all the action, and I'd really appreciate it if you came!

(Big thanks to Holly Tegeler for designing DCist's Unbuckled artwork)

It's a New Day

And I'm pretty sure that I hate the new Today Show set, and I'm not keen on Meredith Viera either.

A taste of the tailgate

I've Got A Feeling

I've had a feeling lately... like something is going to change. Could be big or small, positive or negative, physical or emotional, professional or personal... just a sort of looming notion. Then I saw this and thought, maybe that's it. Farewell Unrequited Narcissism. You were the gold standard in blogging, as far as I'm concerned.

Comeupance

Though it's not the lifelong prison sentence this maggot deserves, it looks like Joe Francis' tide is turning a bit.

Well, that sucked

Hopefully future weeks will feature a defense that's not soft and a general absence of idiocy. Cause the silent and angry van ride home is something I don't wish to repeat.

In other news, one of our Jon Stewart attendees can no longer make it. Anybody up for some awesomeness this Saturday?

My Kingdom for a Time Machine and a Tuition Check

As though fall weather, football, and listening to "Nicole's Song" weren't enough to make me wish I were a dewey-eyed first year all over again. I just read a post on Whedonesque about UNCG's Women's and Gender Studies' course on "Why Buffy Still Matters." Can I please, pretty please, go back to undergrad?

(Buffy course + discussion with Catherine about this Veronica Mars fashion blog and my recent jacket purchase = buffy/fashion --> next topic)

Remember back in the fall of '99, when Charlottesville cable didn't carry the WB, and my mom sent me VHS tapes of each week's Buffy episodes (best mom ever), and in the season premier (first day of college) she wore the Betsy Johnson cherry dress I'd obsessed over and gotten that summer? Yeah, that was great.

Dear Whoever's Blasting Evanescence Down the Hall

Stop it.

Thanks,
Amanda



Update: Thanks! But retreat-worthy Christian rock wasn't exactly the alternative I was hoping for. In case you're taking suggestions, here's mine: silence.

One Two, Buckle My Shoe

Year after year, there's no crueler transition from summer to fall as having to get used to closed-toe shoes again. Working in a casual office, flip flops are pretty standard throughout the spring and summer. Delving into the wide world of pointy-toed flats and other peddy crimes never ceases to be a painful sign that the sun will be shining a little less.

Brought to you by the letter S and the fact that my toes hurt.

Welcome to the world, baby Jack!

Jack Spillman, you have the official distinction of being my first friend-baby. Welcome to the world! I can't wait to meet ya. And would you look at how great Allison looks?