blogs t r e t c h

between a roux and a bechamel

Thursday, August 31, 2006

I am a pop culture genius

Recently I caught a few moments of a 30 Seconds to Mars interview. I was stopped dead in my tracks when I noticed that one of the guys in the band (that wasn't Jared Leto) was Jordan Catalano's bff from MSCL. Ya know, not Tino, but the guy they ever actually showed. Think: Buffalo Tom at Pike Street, playing pool, talking about how "weird" Angela and Rayanne are. Well, to the internet!!

The truth comes out: It's Shannon Leto! As in, Jared's brother! Hence the MSCL gig, and hence the 30s Seconds to Mars gig.

I am a pop culture genius!

*I tried to find a picture from the show, but he's in none of them. According to the internets, screen capture software and the resolution of MSCL don't mix. But Shannon Leto is this dude. Hopefully that jogs the memories of those of you that also recorded every single moment of Holzmanian genius to memory in the 90s as I did.

I'll also take this opportunity to tell everyone that Jared Leto spent this past weekend in the Hamptons with my Natasha, and asked her to come home with him. She did not accept.

Wednesday, August 30, 2006

From the Adorable Files

That's about all I got right now. I may be shirking my duties as a blogger, but I am wearing cowboy boots, so I think we'll all turn out ok in the end.

Tuesday, August 29, 2006

Rock Around the Clock

First of all, New York was fantastic! Even despite the dismal weather and arduous navigation, Alyssa and I had a great time thanks to Gavin's incredible hospitality, Doug Clark and the Hot Nuts, some back stage Walkmen action at McCarren, a DJ set by Walt Martin so impressive
I vowed that I'd do everything in my power to get him to DJ my wedding (ya know, if and when I get married), and seeing some old friends -- particularly the always wonderful Natasha and her adorable nephew Jonah. I'm back and ready for a crazy couple of weeks back on the home front.

Oh, and, HUH?

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

Hip Hip Hooray

1. Welcome to the world, Barrett Motter! Becky's big sis Lynnea and her husband Charlie welcomed their little baby into the world last week. I have it on good authority that he's adorable, even with the jaundice.

2. BIG NEWS!!! Beth Anne Tommasone is ENGAGED! To be MARRIED!!!!!!!!! Congratulations my wonderful friend! Josh is a lucky man!

Update: I forgot to mention also that Randy Scott is engaged too!!! Love is in the air my friends!

3. It's my birthday! Pretty much the happiest concurrence of events possible.

Monday, August 21, 2006

Favorite TV Characters

In response to PopCandy's response to Joss Whedon's response to James Gunn's list of 25 favorite tv characters, I'll give you some of mine. Big ups to the overlappers that would have definitely made my list had they not already been mentioned:

-Buffy Summers, BTVS (obviously -- my hero, my idol, my Buffster)
-Angela Chase, MSCL (I echo Wendy's comments, and update it with "if my kids ask me what I was like in the 90s -- just replace all "Jordan Catalano"s with "Will Royall"s")
-Kirk Gleason, Gilmore Girls
-Josh from the West Wing
-Phoebe on Friends
-Logan Echols, Veronica Mars (to go from detestable to all that I dream about and long for in the matter of one season -- that's quite a character)
-Jim from The Office
-Agent Dale Cooper, Twin Peaks
-Ruper Giles, BTVS. The scene at the end of the evil Willow season where he walks in makes me cry to this day.
-Chloe from 24

On to my additions of favoritude. I'd also like to echo the brilliant Joss's statements that I maintain the right to revoke these at any moment when I realize OMG I totally forgot my real favorite!!!!

-Willow Rosenberg, BTVS. Sidekick. Best friend. Genius. Witch. Lesbian (well, let's all try and forget that lesbian part -- I never really bought it).

-Anya, BTVS. She played the demon turned human, awkwardly learning how to be human with humor and deadpan pinache.

-Veronica Mars. A Buffy for the new generation.

-Keith Mars. This guy knocked Sandy Cohen out of my Favorite TV Dad top spot.

-Ricky Vasquez, MSCL. He was like Willow, without the wicka. And, he was actually related to Tino.

-Dwight, The Office. Though I enjoy Jim's plays off of Dwight more than anything else, he sets up most of the hilarious scenes in the show. The concussion and speech episodes made me laugh harder than anything else I've seen in recent history.

-Vanessa Chamberlain, Guiding Light. Yeah, I watch soaps. What of it? She's my favorite daytime matriarch. And she totally got together with the sexy young guy in town and lived happily ever after, while everybody else stayed in drama land.

-Laurelai Gilmore. Even my own clever mother can't compete with her fast talking cut ups. But she's got the whole being the best mom ever thing down pat.

-Michelle, Gilmore Girls. The hoity toity foil that adds to every scene he's part of.

-Michael Guerrin, Roswell. Mainly because he was super hot, and had an attitude. And he and Maria both had incredible lips, so their makeout scenes were fantastic.

-Summer Roberts, The OC. The vapid princess with depth and a heart of gold. She's always coming up with surprising levels of humanity her valley girl facade doesn't seem to lend itself to.

I'm blanking on pretty much everything before college, so I'll leave you with this. Who are some of your favorites?

What do you think they were on?

The = the MTV execs that approved this ad

Whata do you think they were on when they approved the idea to dress a dude up as a VMA (a space suit) and have him go out and pick up a tranny hooker?

Just curious.

Sunday, August 20, 2006

The hot new party game

Last night we developed a party game called Snakes on a Plane. It's very similar to the slumber party favorite, Murder in the Dark.

One person is the Pilot. The Pilot assigns roles to everyone else -- Samuel L. Jackson, passengers and snakes. The snakes go around pinching peopole to kill them, and SLJ has to figure out who the snakes are before all the passengers die. Hilarious dialogue and over the top drama is required.

We sussed out all the rules, but didn't actually play. If anybody out there puts this game plan into action, let me know how it goes.

Birthdays are the best!

Mine hasn't technically happened yet, but I've already had a fabulous party, and received some incredibly awesome gifts, including:

iPod brownies, by Stacy

The Clinton Portis tee from Alyssa

And the coolest thing ever -- a Neptune High mug from Becky!!

I'm off to get ready for a great dinner with Jenna, Liz and Diana. My friends rule.

Saturday, August 19, 2006

Far More Nefarious

Last night, the in-the-knowiest of the DC blogiverse occupied themselves in what was undoubtly a festival of gleeful squeals as they all took over gallery place and watched SoaP. This morning, I awoke to something far more nefarious.

Ants in a Kitchen.

Some pertinent background information:
-I'm a complete and total bugaphob.
-I'm also fairly annoying about keeping a clean house.
-I spent my entire Friday night at home, cleaning my kitchen.

My first paniced reaction: put Stinker on the counter, let him kill them all! His reaction was more along the lines of, what the hell's wrong with you mom? So I proceded to the papertowel and windex aided smash fest approach. Killing them by the 10s, cleaning up as I went.

This simply will not do. Ant genocide just isn't the most pleasant way to start a day, especially when I'm hosting a suare' this evening. I'd also like to submit that no matter how florally scented, but spray is gross. And those little ant traps don't do sh*t.

Thursday, August 17, 2006

Did I mention that my birthday's approaching?

Cause it is! Another wonderful gift option is the second season of Veronica Mars, conveniently available the day before my birthday. Just in case you want to buy me something I'll love and use. A lot.

Stinker's Title as Cutest Thing Ever Holds Strong

Originally uploaded by AMattos.

I mean -- look at that guy!

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

August 16 is a Very Special Day

1) It marks the birth of the wonderful, delightful, funny, sweet, and newly lawyered up Kevin Dunlap. He's off making a place for himself in the legal world, but all I know is that it doesn't feel quite like August without a Dunlap Basemenet Birthday Party. Have a great day, good buddy.

Oh, and if Lauren Williams has resurfaced from her African journies (or I mean, even if she hasn't), happy birthday to you too!

2) Tonight is the first Boyfriends USA show!! Join me and every other cool person in this area tonight at the Velvet Lounge for an evening of fantastic music from my good friend Tyler Cash and his troupe of fellow music makers.

Monday, August 14, 2006

Almost Famous

I had a pretty surreal weekend. On Saturday, Alyssa and I sat in some mean traffic to get to Richmond, where she was acting as the horn section for The Walkmen on "Louisiana." (To answer your questions, they put out a call on their website for horn players in the cities they're playing, she's done it before, and we met them at Macrock before that, so it wasn't out of the clear blue sky.) I've never really done the whole backstage thing, so I had no idea really what to make of this evening that was upon us. We made the most of our Richmond afternoon, eating about 7 times, hangin out with Tim and some other friends, and finally making our way over to the Canal Club so Alyssa could sound check. After she and Paul practiced, we made our way to their little backstage room -- emphasis on little. With two bands, a manager and two girls in a tiny two love seat room, we made pretty quick with the bonding. Everyone shared their favorite tricks for opening and pouring beers, and a lot of time was spent on you tube. I started to geek out a bit when we walked down with the band before they went on stage, and my mind was filled with visions of Almost Famous. They played a set which they all thought sucked, but I rather enjoyed, and Alyssa KILLED it on the trumpet.

They weren't ready to wind things down, though bar hours in Virginia were, so after loading out and playing for a while, it started to feel like a high school party in the weirdest and funniest way. We hung out in parking lots, trying to figure out where to go, and ended up on Alyssa's old rooftop with about six beers. At one point late late at night, I looked over and realized I was smooshed in the back seat of Alyssa's Rodeo with one of my very favorite bands. I was sharing a seat with this dude that I've screamed for in many a live show, and pasing around a box of cheezits. So, the moral of the story is that Richmond is, was, and forever shall be a sunny place for shady people, and rock stars are people too. People who REALLY like Mike & Ikes.

Sunday, August 13, 2006

I <3 Football

Alyssa was the first to cross the finish line and got me that Clinton Portis tshirt I mentioned for my bday, so don't rush out to the Redskins Store next week. Oh, and, it's pretty much the coolest tshirt ever.

In other Redskins related news (and no, I'm not talking about the near heart attack I had when Portis went down), I've been informed that I apparently become a different person when I start talking football. Liz has mentioned something about this to me in the past, but my mom summed it up as follows: "In every other respect, you're such a girl. But as soon as you start talking about the Redskins, your voice drops, the tone completely changes, you start dropping stats and hyperbolic statements, and you take on mannerisms... like you're a guy with a huge neck." So, if you see me from afar, moving my jaw with determination, I'm probably just talkin 'bout the Skins.

Thursday, August 10, 2006

Cross Promotional Conspiracies that Probably Led to Today's Terrorism in the UK

  1. Oliver Stone cashing in on fear before World Trade Center opens. Gawker beat me to the punch of publishing that one.
  2. Liquids on a Plane
  3. Hey! Democrats are gaining some ground! Let's scare everyone again! DON'T FORGET: Terrorists are everywhere, they hate America, and only Republicans can save you!
  4. Somebody was sick and tired of rising air fare.

Tuesday, August 08, 2006

Fox News Teasers Never Fail to Entertain

"It's a bird! It's a plane! It's a... prostitute?"

That Doesn't Happen Often

When driving home from dinner (Bertuccis, I got the Sporkie pizza and proffiteroles, it was delish), I was flipping radio stations. I heard Alanis' "Head Over Feet," swtiched stations, and heard Alanis' "You Learn." Considering that it's 2006 and all, I thought it was a little out of the ordinary.

Read this, sit near a trash can

(So that you have a place to puke when finished)

Alyssa sent me this article from the LA Times about Joe Francis, the founder of the Girls Gone Wild empire. Rarely have I been as appauled, horrified or sickened by something as I was by this reporter's account of this man sociopath. It launched me into armchair sociologist, bemoaning the state of affairs in this country, from the Paris Hiltons to the privilaged rich white boys to the coddling helicopter parents and beyond.

The most disturbing part of this entirely disturbing article is when after he RAPES a girl, she says that when she looks back on the incident, she feels "weird." Have we become so removed and jaded and... I don't even know what, that a girl (a virgin no less) can essentially be drugged, tricked and raped, and all she knows how to feel is "weird"? And that when she told her family about it, they were mad at her and she was embarassed, rather than helping her press charges?

Anyhow, I thought the article was worth sharing if for no other reason than to discourage anyone I know from spending a penny on any of Francis' products, and to think about all of the truly horrible problems within our culture this monster and his success showcase.

End soapbox.

Monday, August 07, 2006

Birthday List

Everyone's favorite day of the year (my birthday) is just a little over two weeks away. If you come across any of these items, I'd happily accept them.
I haven't put a lot of thought into this yet, as you can tell. Mainly, I just wanted to post about the Clinton Portis shirt.

Sunday, August 06, 2006

Boyfriends USA

Even though their bassist threw a potato at my head this weekend and, I'm pretty sure, gave me a mild concussion, you should all go check out Boyfriends USA on MySpace. They're tight, and all around good guys. Except when launching dense tubers at my cranium.

Friday, August 04, 2006

Is there an adjective form of Vonnegut?

Ya know, like Dickensian or Shakesperian? Vonnegutian just sounds like some sort of gastro-intestinal problem. I'm trying to steer clear of "Vonnegut-esque."

Even Great Jobs Have Bad Days

This heat is making everyone, including myself and all of my clients, too damn pissy, and it's making my job too damn hard. Thank jebus for "Roscoe" by Midlake, which I've been listening to on repeat for the past hour or so. It's keeping me calm, but repetative activity like that is probably the first sign of some sort of madness. Ah well, it's Friday. That gives me two whole days to shake off the crazy and start fresh next week.

Thursday, August 03, 2006

Just Stop It

Cute Overload, you need to cut it out. I made the mistake of clicking on the kittens page, and it's making me want to high tail it out of the office and get a new kitten. So that she and Stinker can do this. I'm seeing no down side to this plan at the moment.

Vote Magathan!

Some friends of mine entered in's tshirt design contest. I urge you to go and vote. Follow your heart, but isn't Jennifer Magathan's wrap around design just the best? And totally deserving of your clicks?

Wednesday, August 02, 2006


Happy Birthday to my Best Beast Forever, Tyler H. Cash. You da best!

That's Tyler, displaying his new fangled hands free device

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

Do Cats Sweat?

I've never really thought about it. I know that dogs pant, but I've never thought about how my feline friends cool themselves. There's gotta be somethin (insert bad pun about "one cool cat" here). Moments ago, I let Stinker in from the 100 degree porch (which he insisted on playing on for two hours), and he smelled. Sweaty! Anybody know the ins and outs of cat sweat?

Three Little Chip Bags, Sitting In A Row

I was just in the kitchen at my office and saw something very strange. On the table (where people often dump food that's meant to be shared) were three bags of original Lays potato chips. Three bags, each already opened, and each with the same amount of chips left in them (just enough to fill the bottom bubble). All three, folded together so their creases met up and their exact sameness was apparent.

Why would someone open up not one -- but two new bags of chips, when you already have chips available? My hypothesis: someone in this office has a phobia of the bottom half of the contents of a bag of chips and therefore can't eat anything past the midway point. But, this same person has a waste not, want not way of going about things, so rather than toss out the unwanted lower halves, he or she has proffered them up to the office collective.

Or something.

Maybe I'll think of something to write about soon that doesn't involve eating at work.

The Lunch Lady

Last week I observed a pretty bizarre pair in my office's cafe. They appeared to be mother and son, though eating in an office park indicates that they work somewhere nearby, presumably together. The bizarre part was her excessive control over everything -- guiding him through what and how much he should take from the buffet, how many napkins to take, how much salt to use, how much ice to put in his soda. They left the cafe at the same time I did, at which point I heard her instruct, "Now we'll go wash our hands."

It seems that in his 20+ years with her (presumed) son, she didn't quite get the basic dining and post-dining behaviors down, and so feels the need to enforce them now, in a step-by-step instructional manner. The thought of what working in the office with her must be like gave me a few cold shudders. Today I met these two again. This time I passed them leaving as I went in. Not leaving the cafe however -- leaving the bathroom. With clean hands. As they regrouped in the lobby she said, "Now, doesn't that feel so much better?" as she shook her hands dry and he did the same. He silently nodded and I got a little more creeped out.

On a completely different note, here's a one-two punch of potty and old person humor Toothpaste for Dinner. Now, doesn't that feel so much better?