I was going to write a post about waxing

I wrote it. Then I thought, wait a minute, this isn't Jezebel. And though some of you might be interested in what actually does and doesn't hurt related to pre-beach-week grooming, I'll save those conversations for the next lady slumber party.

So hey, I'm going to the beach! For a week! Outer Banks again, with the Internet again. I will probably blog there as much as I've blogged over the past week. So, none! Try not to forget about me, though I sometimes forget about you. I'm sorry, it happens.

Hey, so, while I've got you here -- has it become ok to be uneuphamistically offensive, to an incredible degree, in pop music? There's a new song (lil wayne is on it, I don't know whose song it actually is) about wanting to bang every girl in the world. Romantic, right? Anyway, in this song, featuring verses from several different rappers, one guy talks about "taking v cards from"... a word that rhymes with v cards that is not a nice way to talk about people with mental disabilities.

Then there's another song, that sort of sounds like it could be by these guys. You know, one of those that's incredibly popular right now for some reason, where a pre-pubescent sounding guy screams into the microphone to a vaguely rock, vaguely dance backtrack? Anyway, this song is a really sweet little ballad, about getting your woman to shut the hell up, cause god why do you flap your mouth like that when you could be stripping for me or something?

(I just spent some time on Hot 99.5's website trying to figure out what song this actually is. Not only did I not figure it out, I'm now disappointed in myself and sort of shocked -- "Yeah" by Usher, Lil John and Ludacris is still in heavy rotation? Among the top 50 songs they play? Wow. Same for Destiny's Child's "Survivor" and J-Kwon's "Tipsy"? Alright.)

Anyway, just checking. I didn't know it was ok to talk like that... ever. I know music, hip hop especially, is not politically correct or particularly polite. But usually it's at least masked in clever word play! Isn't that the whole point?

On that note, I'm going to go drink blended beverages on the beach for the next week, trying unsuccessfully not to get sunburned. It promises to be a good time. Happy memorial day everybody. Oh, and, you should all make this spicy brown mustard for your BBQs this weekend. I made it last night and it was a revelation. So good. Scott is a genius.

As many pictures as I've seen of Lady GaGa

I have NO idea what her face looks like. I am sort of convinced she's played by several different pants-averse people.

Hallucination-enducing brain problems!

Teh HOTTNESS for TV 2009!

Seriously. Bones. Grey's Anatomy. House. This is the central, long-term-build story line on all of these shows as the seasons come to a close. Is this like in Bring It On when the choreographer guy sold the same routine to a bunch of different cheer squads?

Popcorn is trying to ruin my day, but I won't let it.

Funny conversation with Liz this morning:
liz: "i got really drunk last night"
me: "i know, do you remember us talking here?"
liz: "nope."
me: "do you remember eating all my popcorn that i was gonna take to work today and leaving the dish for me to clean?"
liz: "no, but that does explain why there's popcorn in my teeth"

I was so pissed until that moment. Then I laughed and laughed and all was well. But popcorn, she's reared her smelly head again! Somebody in my office has done a truly epic popcorn burning job. Really, it's impressive work. I can only assume that there was an actual fire in the kitchen when I stepped out to get some lunch. I will probably smell like microwave campfire for the rest of the day.

In other news:

This is fantastic. (It's from the blog Spike Jonze & co's Where The Wild Things Are blog, which is also, fantastic.)

Inspired photo choice, guys.

""For me, there's no such thing as 'designer' and 'not designer,'" is his reply. "Boots are boots." Ah, of course. A truly well-crafted boot, according to Bernal, is up there with 2001: A Space Odyssey. "Every boot tells a story, some of them better than others -- and it's the same for film," he says. "There is no difference between filmmaking and boot-making -- either of them can result in art." Gael Garcia Bernal is dreamy.

I'm sure glad Google decided to come back from the dead. That was a rough hour or two. Also: maybe I should diversify my internet life. Email, calendar, RSS, documents, blogging... all under one platform. Who am I kidding, I love you Google.

I'm not quite sure who I thought The Thermals were

Some sort of grating poppy dancey band I think? I don't know why, or who I'm confusing them with. And when ALL of my friends, whose musical tastes don't usually dovetail when it comes to Shows We're Excited About, were all a-twitter about their show last night, I was kind of confused. So this morning I listened to a few tracks on hype machine. They are a COMPLETELY DIFFERENT BAND than I thought they were. I don't know how this happened. And I wonder what other bands I'm doing this to RIGHT NOW.

While I don't think I could work at home all the time

The fact that today features a lunch of a field greens/strawberry/bacon/gorgonzola/roasted pistachio/balsamic-shallot-vinaigrette salad is pretty rad.

hay hay hay

Where have I been? Oh, just going to 4 bbqs, 2 brunches, 1 punch club, 1 non-concert and a few other social gatherings. And working like a mad woman. And loving this song Holly posted. And sleeping. My god have I been sleeping a lot. And hoping this means we're getting a bar in Bloomingdale. And loving Bloomingdale. And watching videos of dot com crawl and stand up. That's pretty much me in a nutshell. What have you been up to?

Even after all this time

I lose myself in laughter whenever the Fug Girls say "polterwang."

New TV Shows I Love and You Should Watch

• Better Off Ted. Comparisons to Arrested Development are on point, but it's definitely not the same show. Off kilter and sort of good hearted bizare comedy. Watch it! You'll laugh! Scientists, they sure are funny!
• Castle. I mentioned my love of the show before. But let me reiterate: totally a treat.

Though most of this season felt a little tedious to me and I wasn't completely on board with Catherine's vehement support of renewing Chuck, now that I've watched the last 3 episodes of the season, I could not agree more. It got TREMENDOUSLY good in the end there. Really satisfying and perfectly poised for a totally new take on the next season.

I still watch The Office, but it's kind of boring now, right? I know it's been going downhill for quite a while, but it was still always the first thing I'd watch on my DVR. Now I let a few episodes build up. I know a lot of people are loving this season, but I pretty much don't get it.

Maybe I shouldn't give my friends tequila on week nights anymore.

"Worst morning ever. I went into rock creek park to throw up. Walked into a drug deal. Ran out of the woods through a playground. Where a teacher yelled at me. So,:
a. i didn't get to throw up
b. I witnessed a drug deal
c. I'm probably on a pedophile watch list now"

-Anonymous Bloomingdalien

Most things I've been doing lately have revolved around cooking food with and for friends

Like last week's lamb falafel burger/lil wayne/my so called life party.

And this weekend's potato ramp soup throwdown.

And catching up over steaks with Stegmaier.

And making a huge taco fiesta for Bloomingdale cinco de mayo.

And it's all been great. More of this, please.

Well, at least it's not about swine flu.

The Today Show is doing a scare piece right now about the danger all parents should start worrying about: furniture tip-over.