In Mourning

I've recently been at the epicenter of a really strangely high number of births and deaths of people around me. This is a very odd ballancing act on its own, but I just got hit in the gut when I read that the person I consider to be the funniest man alive, Mitch Hedberg, has died. As a celebration of my dear Mitch, enjoy some of his genius.



I got an ant farm. Them fellas didn't grow shit.

I haven't slept for ten days, because that would be too long.

Last week I helped my friend stay put. It's a lot easier than helping someone move. I just went over to his house and made sure that he did not start to load shit into a truck.

I got my hair highlighted, because I felt some strands were more important than others.

I had a stick of Carefree gum, but it didn't work. I felt pretty good while I was blowing that bubble, but as soon as the gum lost its flavor, I was back to pondering my mortality.

I want to be a race car passenger: just a guy who bugs the driver. "Say man, can I turn on the radio? You should slow down. Why do we gotta keep going in circles? Can I put my feet out the window? Boy, you really like Tide."

I got in an argument with a girlfriend inside of a tent. That's a bad place for an argument, because I tried to walk out, and had to slam the flap.

I type a 101 words a minute. But it's in my own language.

I think Bigfoot is blurry, that's the problem. It's not the photographer's fault. Bigfoot is blurry. And that's extra scary to me, because there's a large, out-of-focus monster roaming the countryside. Run. He's fuzzy. Get outta here.

I don't have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman who'd be mad at me for saying that.

My sister wanted to be an actress, but she never made it. She does live in a trailer. She made it half way. She's an actress, she just never gets called to the set.

I'm against picketing, but I don't know how to show it.

If carrots got you drunk, rabbits would be fucked up.

I like vending machines, because snacks are better when they fall.

Pickles are cucumbers that sold out.

I was walking down the street with my friend and he said "I hear music." As if there's any other way to take it in.

2-in-1 is a bullshit term, because 1 is not big enough to hold 2. That's why 2 was created.

I know a lot about cars. I can look at a car's headlights and tell you exactly which way it's coming.

This shirt is dry clean only. Which means...it's dirty.

At my hotel room, my friend came over and asked to use the phone. I said "Certainly." He said "Do I need to dial 9?" I say "Yeah. Especially if it's in the number. You can try four and five back to back real quick."

My lucky number is four billion. That doesn't come in real handy when you're gambling. "Come on, four billion! Fuck. Seven. I need more dice."

I love blackjack. But I'm not addicted to gambling. I'm addicted to sitting in a semi circle.

I don't own a cell phone or a pager. I just hang around everyone I know, all the time.

I think foosball is a combination of soccer and shish kabobs.

I used to do drugs. I still do drugs. But I used to, too.

The thing about tennis is: no matter how much I play, I'll never be as good as a wall. I played a wall once. They're fucking relentless.

I think Pringles initial intention was to make tennis balls. But on the day that the rubber was supposed to show up, a big truckload of potatoes arrived. But Pringles is a laid back company. They said "Fuck it. Cut em up."

A severed foot is the ultimate stocking stuffer.

An escalator can never break: it can only become stairs. You would never see an "Escalator Temporarily Out Of Order" sign, just "Escalator Temporarily Stairs. Sorry for the convenience."

Because of Acid, I now know that butter is way better than margarine. <>So, I sit at the hotel at night and I think of something that's funny. Or, If the pen is too far away, I have to convince myself that what I thought of wasn't funny.

You know that Pepperidge Farm bread, that stuff is fancy. That stuff is wrapped twice. You open it, and then still ain't open. That's why I don't buy it, I don't need another step between me and toast. <> This product that was on TV was available for four easy payments of $19.95. I would like a product that was available for three easy payments and one complicated payment. We can't tell you which payment it is, but one of these payments is going to hard.

You know when they have a fishing show on TV? They catch the fish and then let it go. They don't want to eat the fish, they just want to make it late for something.

I would imagine if you could understand Morse Code, a tap dancer would drive you crazy.

I don't wear a watch because I want my arms to weigh the same. So if somebody asks me what time it is, I have to tell them something that is going on. "What time is it, Mitch?" "Uh, that guy is eating a hamburger." "Shit, I had to be somewhere..."

I went to the park and saw this kid flying a kite. The kid was really excited. I don't know why, that's what they're supposed to do. Now if he had had a chair on the other end of that string, I would have been impressed.

At my hotel room, my friend came over and asked to use the phone. I said "Certainly." He said "Do I need to dial 9?" I say "Yeah. Especially if it's in the number. You can try four and five back to back real quick."

I played golf... I did not get a hole in one, but I did hit a guy. That's way more satisfying...

I saw a human pyramid once. It was totally unnecessary.

This shirt is dry clean only. Which means... It's dirty.

I bought a doughnut and they gave me a receipt for the doughnut... I don't need a receipt for the doughnut. I give you money and you give me the doughnut, end of transaction. We don't need to bring ink and paper into this. I can't imagine a scenario that I would have to prove that I bought a doughnut. To some skeptical friend, Don't even act like I didn't buy a doughnut, I've got the documentation right here... It's in my file at home. ...Under "D".

My friend was walking down the street and he said, "I hear music." As if there is any other way of taking it in. I tried to taste it, but it did not work.

I snake bite emergency kit is a body bag.

Sometimes I wake up and I think I should start wearing a beret, but I don't do it though. One day I'm gonna though. You bet your ass, I will have a beret on. That's ridiculous, but it's true. I always fight with wearing a beret.

A minibar is a machine that makes everything expensive. When I take something out of the minibar, I always fathom that I'll go and replace it before they check it off, but they make that stuff impossible to replace. I go to the store and ask, "Do you have coke in a glass harmonica? ...Do you have individually wrapped cashews?"

I'm against picketing, but I don't know how to show it.

It's hard to dance if you just your lost wallet. "Whoa! Where's my wallet? But, hey this song is funky..."

It's very dangerous to wave to people you don't know because what if they don't have hands? They'll think you're cocky.

Someone handed me a picture and said, "This is a picture of me when I was younger." Every picture of you is when you were younger. "...Here's a picture of me when I'm older." Where'd you get that camera man?

If I was a locksmith, I'd be pimping that out man. I'll trade you a free key duplication for... That joke made me laugh before I could finish it, which is good, because it had no ending.

I want to be a race car passenger: just a guy who bugs the driver. "Say man, can I turn on the radio? You should slow down. Why do we gotta keep going in circles? Can I put my feet out the window? Man, you really like Tide..."

I wrote a letter to my dad - I wrote, "I really enjoy being here," but I accidentally wrote rarely instead of really. But I still wanted to use it so i crossed it out and wrote, "I rarely drive steamboats, dad - there's a lot of shit you don't know about me. Quit trying to act like I'm a steamboat operator." This letter took a harsh turn right away...

I don't own a cell phone or a pager. I just hang around everyone I know, all the time. If someone needs to get ahold of me they just say, "Mitch," and I say, "what" and turn my head slightly...

Alcoholism is a disease, but it's the only one you can get yelled at for having. Goddamn it Otto, you are an alcoholic. Goddamn it Otto, you have Lupis... one of those two doesn't sound right.

I was at this casino minding my own business, and this guy came up to me and said, "You're gonna have to move, you're blocking a fire exit." As though if there was a fire, I wasn't gonna run. If you're flammible and have legs, you are never blocking a fire exit.

I like cinnimon rolls, but I don't always have time to make a pan. That's why I wish they would sell cinnimon roll incense. After all I'd rather light a stick and have my roommate wake up with false hopes.

People teach their dogs to sit, it's a trick. I've been sitting my whole life, and a dog has never looked at me as though he thought I was tricky.

My friend said to me, "You know what I like? Mashed potatoes." I was like, "Dude, you have to give me time to guess. If you're going to quiz me you have to insert a pause."

I used to do drugs. I still do, but I used to, too.

An escalator can never break. It can only become stairs. You would never see an "Escalator Temporarily Out Of Order" sign, just "Escalator Temporarily Stairs. Sorry for the convenience."

I used to be a hot-tar roofer. Yeah, I remember that day...

A severed foot is the ultimate stocking stuffer.

I think foosball is a combination of soccer and shishkabobs.

That would be cool if you could eat a good food with a bad food and the good food would cover for the bad food when it got to your stomach. Like you could eat a carrot with an onion ring and they would travel down to your stomach, then they would get there, and the carrot would say, "It's cool, he's with me."

If you had a friend who was a tightrope walker, and you were walking down a sidewalk, and he fell, that would be completely unacceptible...

I know a lot about cars. I can look at a car's headlights and tell you exactly which way it's coming.

I have a cheese-shredder at home, which is its positive name. They don't call it by its negative name, which is sponge-ruiner. Because I wanted to clean it, and now I have little bits of sponge that would melt easily over tortilla chips...

If carrots got you drunk, rabbits would be messed-up.

I bought a seven dollar pen because I always lose pens and I got sick of not caring.

My sister wanted to be an actress, but she never made it. She does live in a trailer. She got half way. She's an actress, she just never gets called to the set.

Every time I go and shave, I assume there is somebody else on the planet shaving as well, so I say, "I'm gonna go shave too."

Why are there no during pictures.

I have an underwater camera just in case I crash my car into a river, and at the last minute I see a photo opportunity of a fish that I have never seen.

I had a velco wallet in a casino. That sound annoyed the hell out of me. Whenever I lost money, and I opened the wallet, it was like the sound of my addiction.

Sometimes I fall asleep at night with my clothes on. I'm going to have all my clothes made out of blankets.

I type a 101 words a minute. But it's in my own language.

My apartment is infested with koala bears. It's the cutest infestation ever. Way better than cockroaches. When I turn on the light, a bunch of koala bears scatter, but I don't want them too. I'm like, "Hey... Hold on fellows... Let me hold one of you, and feed you a leaf." Koala bears are so cute, why do they have to be so far away from me. We need to ship a few over, so I can hold one, and pat it on its head.

I wish I could play little league now. I'd be way better than before.

I never joined the army because at ease was never that easy to me. Seemed rather uptight still. I don't relax by parting my legs slightly and putting my hands behind my back. That does not equal ease. At ease was not being in the military. I am at ease, bro, because I am not in the military.

I had a bag of fritos, they were texas grilled fritos. These fritos had grill marks on them. They remind me of something, when we used to fire up the barbeque and throw down some fritos. I can still see my dad with the apron on, better flip that frito, dad, you know how I like mine.

I opened-up a yogurt, underneath the lid it said, "Please try again." because they were having a contest that I was unaware of. I thought maybe I opened the yogurt wrong. ...Or maybe Yoplait was trying to inspire me... "Come on Mitchell, don't give up!" An inspirational message from your friends at Yoplait, fruit on the bottom, hope on top.

I hate flossing, I wish I just had one long curvy tooth.

The next time I move I hope I get a real easy phone number, something like 2222222. People will ask, "Mitch, how do I get a hold of you?" I'll say, "Just press two for a while, when I answer, you'll know that you've pressed two enough."

My lucky number is 4 billion, that doesn't come in real handy when your gambling. I'm gonna need some more dice, 4 billion divided by 6, at least.

A waffle is like a pancake with a syrup trap.

You know they call corn-on-the-cob, "corn-on-the-cob", but that's how it comes out of the ground. They should just call it corn, and every other type of corn, corn-off-the-cob. It's not like if someone cut off my arm they would call it "Mitch", and then re-attached it, and call it "Mitch-all-together".

I like buying snacks from a vending machine because food is better when it falls. Sometimes at the grocery, I'll drop a candy bar so that it will achieve its maximum flavor potential.

On a traffic light yellow means yield, and green means go. On a banana, it's just the opposite, yellow means go ahead, green means stop, and red means, where'd you get that banana?

My roommate says, "I'm going to take a shower and shave, does anyone need to use the bathroom?" It's like some weird quiz where he reveals the answer first.

I think Bigfoot is blurry, that's the problem. There's a large out-of-focus monster roaming the countryside.

I wrote my friend a letter with a highlighting pen, but he could not read it, he thought I was trying to show him certain parts of a piece of paper.

I use the word totally too much. I need to change it up and use a word that is different but has the same meaning. Mitch do you like submarine sandwhiches? All-encompassingly...

I think pickles are cucumbers that sold out. They sold their soul to the devil, and the devil is dill...

...and then at the end of the letter I like to write "P.S. - this is what part of the alphabet would look like if Q and R were eliminated.

I got my hair highlighted, because I felt some strands were more important than others.

I don't have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman who'd be mad at me for saying that.

The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how good I get, I'll never be as good as a wall.

My friend asked me if I wanted a frozen banana, I said "No, but I want a regular banana later, so, Yeah."

Mr. Pibb is a poor imitation of Dr. Pepper. Dude didn't even get his degree

I'll miss you, Mitch All Together.

ROCK volume ii

Inspired by a truly great concert on Saturday night (which was part of a weekend that I fully intend on recapping as soon as I get the time), Liz and I have fanned the flames for our concert going ways. We just bought tickets to go to all of the following concerts at the Black Cat. Come one, come all!

Eagles of Death Metal, 4/6

The Kills, 4/13

Mousetrap (brit pop dance party), 4/16

Ben Lee (!), 4/22

Louis XIV, 4/28

Plastic People of the Universe, 5/26

Raveonettes, 5/28

And, to confirm, the HFStival lives! Tickets go on sale this weekend, and Liz and I (and likely Jenna and little Eckert) will be in attendance. Line up is pretty solid, so I'm not gonna focus on the fact that we'll be some of the few attendees who didn't make out with someone to procure our wrist bands. Up the non-adolescent numbers and get your tickets!

Most exciting summer tour announcements I've heard about are Weezer and The Black Crowes, but as of yet haven't heard about any DC dates. Tomorrow night's Dogs Die in Hot Cars and Phoenix show is gonna be effing great. Go watch the Phoenix videos on their website for "Too Young" and "funky squaredance" for some fantastic fancy free video making.

And, for your viewing pleasure...

Here, we have Phoenix:


And here, we have DDIHC:

It's just gonna be so.....good

Danny Yu

So last night Danny Yu told me he only invites me to his parties because he wants to be mentioned on my blog. So, Danny Yu, you happy? Danny Yu, I hope you are. Which is why he was so upset that I didn't leave the front page and go to his party. But, if you were drinking free beers with the bartender out of special UNC cups that she'd had printed, would you go to an apartment party? And if you were the first level of defense to protect people from Tuddy's wrath before they tried to order drinks from the service area (but actually just let 'em fry, cause watching Tuddy take 'em down was more fun), would you have left? And if you were drinking with Sarah Daniels, would you have left? (Perhaps only to go to the Guards, because the universe apparently wanted me there last night, but I paid no attention to the signs.) Yeah, probably not. So here you are, Danny Yu. I was glad that you made it down to the FP. Particularly when you come in tow with a drunk Coleman, and a Sean O'Connor who took me seriously when I brushed my shoulder off at him, called me a bitch and walked away (them's just jokes Sean, them's just jokes). Anyhow, Danny Yu, I hope you've enjoyed your moment in the sun.

No, don't expect to be seeing any comments from Danny Yu, because he assured me that by no means would he, Danny Yu, be leaving a comment.

ROCK

I'm making my way to resuming my rock 'n roll lifestyle, and I couldn't be happier about it.

1. I just scored four tickets to Interpol tomorrow night. It's been sold out since forever. Perhaps I am not making it quite clear how happy I am about this. I'M GOING TO SEE INTERPOL TOMORROW!!!!!!!!!! There may be a lingering open ticket (as I got a little amped and overzealous when the guy said how many do you want? and I screeched ALL FOUR PLEASE!), so if you're interested, HOLLAR!
2. Next Thursday, it's Dogs Die in Hot Cars and Phoenix (again at 930). It started as just me and Tylerton, but now there's a whole gang going and it's gonna be so freakin great because both of these bands are freakin great and Tyler, Jean, Ricky, Drew, Jenna and Liz - all freakin great.
   
3. Read some exciting news on DCist - the resurection of the HFStival! Possible? If the station isn't around to start a fire under all the 13 year olds, might it not be embarassing for people my age to go again? The line up sounds pretty tight, though it's all speculation at this point. As we all know, I miss all things HFS (and with no speakers at work and no access to Baltimore radio haven't been able to apply the HFS patch others have), so this news is makin me all tingly.
   

Let's keep this thing goin!!

Humbug

I'm having a stressful day at work, and shit can't seem to keep itself away from the fan, but when all else fails, Liz knows exactly what to do:

LKE16: look at this website
LKE16: and scroll down
LKE16: http://www.dcist.com/


Ya know what's there?



Do you KNOW?


Care to venture a guess?


Come on, I bet you can think of something...


Nope, it's not from the OC...


It's better..





YES THAT'S RIGHT! BABY CHEETAS!!!

You're lookin at the newly-named Askari (Swahili for "guard" or "watchman") and Imara (Swahili for "strong" or "strength").

I've decided that the ultimate defining factor in universal cuteness is posessing face stripes or face wrinkles. And not because you're horribly disfigured or really old.

I attempted to add lots of pictures at once with Picasa, but to no avail. So, you just get Joey loving Matt too much. Not a bad trade off.

Referencing Joey's pick of stories, he's big bro to this guy (Kevin, AKA Baby Kull)...no wonder he's all about protecting him.

Something tells me Joey forgot his ritalin today...
(imaginary conversation btw. jon stewart and the RZA):
gdariusjr: hello rza
gdariusjr: yo
gdariusjr: so i was cu...
gdariusjr: yo
gdariusjr: yah you said that, anyyway, rza i hea...
gdariusjr: yo
gdariusjr: yo..yo yo.. turn my head phones up, yo
gdariusjr: dodododooddood
gdariusjr: if a shell was called a control and i was a naked turtle i'd be outta control

When I was a child, I spake as a child

A delightful lunchtime conversation with the Sam and the Drew has lead me to yet another audience participation post! Yippeeee!

What was your favorite book as a child? I'd like everyone to notice how very appropriate most of everyone's picks so far are to their personalities today.

Some crowd favorites so far (mentioned on nearly everyone's list):

Goodnight Moon, by Margaret Wise Brown

The beloved sweet dreams book that poetically says "goodnight" to everything you can see from your bed. Whether preparing for sleep or trying to postpone it, there was something very magical about this one. Is there anyone in suburbia that wasn't read this before bed?

Where The Wild Things Are, by Maurice Sendak

Another timeless tale about a little boy who has a close encounter with the some wild things much like himself. Getting sent to bed without supper never turned out so well!

My Personal Favorites:

In The Night Kitchen, by Maurice Sendak

Another Sendak masterpiece, this dreamy story follows Max on his adventures through a nightime bakery. Gigantic trampoline-like dough piles, and swimming naked in a giant jug of milk. Floating from image to image rather than single frame pictures, this story sweeps by and left a permanent mark on my imagination.

Dr. Seuss' The Sneetches and Other Stories

As an only child prone to teasing (and no one to practice teasing back), I particularly loved the Star Belly Sneetches story. The sneetches with stars on their bellies were elitists; then the other sneetches figured out how to put stars on their bellies and nobody knew who the real ones were, and it was a big mess until everyone decided to just get along. It also kind of spoke to my Louise Archer upbringing; we were quite fond of overcoming discrimination.

Courduroy, by Don Freeman

This is the magical story of a teddy bear locked in a department store over night who climbs down from the shelf to find his missing button and discovers a brave new world!

Sam's Vote: Mr. Popper's Penguins, by Richard Atwater

This wasn't one of my staples, but the description from Amazon.com sure makes it sound hilarious and so extremely Sam:
More than 60 years have not dated this wonderfully absurd tale--it still makes kids (and parents) laugh out loud. Poor Mr. Popper isn't exactly unhappy; he just wishes he had seen something of the world before meeting Mrs. Popper and settling down. Most of all, he wishes he had seen the Poles, and spends his spare time between house-painting jobs reading all about polar explorations. Admiral Drake, in response to Mr. Popper's fan letter, sends him a penguin; life at 432 Proudfoot Avenue is never the same again. From one penguin living in the icebox, the Popper family grows to include 12 penguins, all of whom must be fed. Thus is born "Popper's Performing Penguins, First Time on Any Stage, Direct from the South Pole." Their adventures while on tour are hilarious, with numerous slapstick moments as the penguins disrupt other acts and invade hotels. Classic chapter-a-night fun.

Drew's Pick: The Wreck of the Zephyr,by Chris Van Alsburg

Van Alsburg is apparently quite a prolyphic and heralded children's author (also responsible for Jumanji, The Polar Express, and The Garden of Abdul Gasazi) and a favorite of Mr. Drew's. I was going to use his "brief description," but it would have been as long as this entire blog. So, once again, to our friends at Amazon:
At the edge of a cliff lies the wreck of a small sailboat. How did it get there? "Waves carried it up in a storm," says an old sailor. But is it possible that waves could ever get that high? There is another story -- the story of a boy and his obsessive desire to be the greatest sailor, the story of a storm that carried the boy and his boat to a place where boats glide like gulls high above the water and not upon it. Chris Van Allsburg tells that story of the boy and his boat, the Zephyr, in words and haunting, full-color pastel paintings. His sailboats sail the night sky with the stars in pictures so vivid that the reader can almost hear the wind in the sails. Here is a work of unusual artistry that will enchant readers of all ages for many years to come.

Joey's pick: The Great Brain, by John D. Fitzgerald (writer) & Mercer Mayer (illustrator)

And again, this pick is so very telling of the Joey to come:
mads t r e t c h: what's it about?
gdariusjr: two brothers
gdariusjr: one little and an older
gdariusjr: like 2 or 3 years apart
gdariusjr: and they just do crazy things, but like one of them is just like always getting them outta situations and having crazy ideas

Aaron's Pick: Dr. Seuss' One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish

Never has an "I can read!" book proffered such profound philosophical querries (such as "Did you ever fly a kite in bed? Did you ever walk with ten cats on your head?").

Liz's Many Picks:
Sylvester & The Magic Pebble, by William Steig

A pebble-collecting donkey who finds one that grants his every wish. Now that's just pure child-lit magic right there, ladies and gentlemen.

The Velveteen Rabbit, by Margery Williams

Also a favorite of mine, this story had that magical E.T. power to make me cry with just about every encounter, yet love it with every fiber of my being. I'm sure Liz probably has a similar place in her heart for the favorite toy that seeks to acheive the ultimate joy for a toy: becoming real through the power of being loved by Boy (the name of the toy's owner). (This story was the clear inspiration for the Toy Story movies.)

Rumplestiltskin

I was always hopelessly drawn to this pretty creepy story. As it says on Amazon, this story is not scarry or horid, but rather mischevious and weird." No WONDER Liz and I both enjoyed it so much!

Becky's Pick: James & The Giant Peach, by Roald Dahl

Another one I loved a lot, along with pretty much every other Dahl book (The BFG was pure genius and I'd like to thank Mrs. Shephard at Louise Archer Elementary for reading it to us and doing different voices. I still remember and love it to this day). This was one of those ultimate childhood fantasty type books -- escapting your horrible caregivers for a big adventure in a big piece of fruit with some big bugs. Now we're talkin.

BabyKull's Pick: The Giving Tree, by Shel Silverstein

We're really hitting on some of the unparalleleds as far as children's authors go. This is a heartbreaking story of a boy and his best friend, a tree, as the changing nature of their relationship as the boy grows.

Sarah's Pick: The Very Hungry Catarpillar, by Eric Carle

This was one of those fantastic books with interactive pages, that followed our glutonous friend as he ate one apple on monday, two pears on tuesday..., from the author of such other wonders as Brown Bear, Brown Bear and The Very Busy Spider.

Kathryn's Pick: The True Confessions of Charlotte Doyle, by

More of a big-kid-book, this is a story of a girl's trans-atlantic crossing, told as retrospective "confessions." Of course my always intelligent friend Kathryn picked something like this :)

Matt Lynch's Pick: Go, Dog, Go! by

Yet another hilariously accurate match up of reader with book, here's a very Lynch-ian description of the story from our friends at Amazon:
Life lessons? Romance? Literary instruction? Go, Dog. Go! offers all this and more, wrapped up in one simply worded, warmly hued package. Using single-syllable words in rhythmic repetition, and introducing colors and prepositions, this Seuss-styled classic has been an early favorite of children since 1961.

Bobby's Pick: The Berenstain Bears, by Stan Berenstain

Who didn't love this little family of bears and the adventures they had? I particularly remember one that soothed me through going to the dentist. Also an Arthur book that soothed me through losing a tooth. Huh.

Derik's Picks:

This was just too funny. When I asked him what his favorite book as a child was, he said "I just read a lot of autobiographies of professional athletes. And Garfield and Calvin & Hobbes. Fair enough Derik, fair enough. I'm tellin ya, these things really do reflect on your future self (or so I'm learning).

Betsy's Pick:Madeline, by Ludwig Bemelmans

The littlest of 12 little girls and the trouble her adventurous antics get her into (SO BETSY!). This was certainly bedtime fodder for most every little girl I knew.

Gavin's Pick: Curious George, by H.A. Rey

The curious little monkey from Africa, the man in the big yellow hat, and the madness that ensues. Who didn't love the heck out of this little guy?

**************************************************************

Alright, much feedback has come in since originally posting. I think there are a few more that deserve addition. I would include the magic spaghetti bowl book Liz and I talked about earlier today, but can't remember the freakin name or find it on google.

Kevin Dunlap's Pick: Hop On Pop, by Dr. Seuss

Kevin's reason is...well, a very Dunlap response:
dunlips: hop on pop, because dave dunlap's tyrannical dictatorship must end now!!!!!

Melissa Decker's Pick: Little Miss Naughty (part of the Little Miss and Mr. Men collection), by Roger Hargreves

MJD 635: i loved...
MJD 635: Little Miss Naughty
MJD 635: from the Little Miss and Mr. Men collection...
MJD 635: my favorite mr. men were mr. tickel and mr. nosey

Decker chose Little Miss Naughty. This really really doesn't need any explanation.

Chris Hoy's Pick: Great Day for Up, yet another Seussian pick

Is anyone at all surprised that dear Mr. Hoy picked a book that was both happy and educational (discussing the many meanings of the word "up")?

Coleman's Pick: Tolkein's The Hobbit

His first memory of a book, as read to him by his father. Definitely matches up with BWM's current day love of all things fantasy and occult.

Chris Hanna's Pick: A Light In The Attic, by Shel Silverstein

Definitely a classic and one I remember reading and loving, but still, a little on the creepy side since the reason he loved it was that story where the lady had the ribbon around her neck...
craigllamar: that book was the bomb
craigllamar: i think that was the one that had the lady whos head fell of

Another couple of my picks that I didn't think of earlier:

Cloudy With A Chance of Meatballs, by Judy & Ron Barrett

OK, apparently I had a thing for odd interactions with large food when I was a kid. But this book was effing wonderful.

The Going to Bed Book, by Sandra Boynton (and all her other books, particularly But Not The Hippopotamus)

I didn't include Green Eggs & Ham on my list because of the overabundence of Seuss here (though it did get many mentions and should probably also be on the fan favs list, but I'm tired of searching for images), but along with that and these books, they were definitely the ultimate in putting me to bed. I really loved the hippos. A lot.

And sometimes, my friends are just odd:
dunlips: ps. kudos for putting "where the wild things are" on your list, but i can't believe no one said "charlotte's web"
dunlips: it was the greatest way to teach kids about dying
dunlips: take little little tommy

World Poetry Day

I'm thrusting my English major-yness on you all in celebration of World Poetry Day. See below for some excerpts, but mainly links, to a smattering of some of my favorite poetry. Read it. Read it all. Feed your head. Marvel at others' brilliance and be inspired to capture some of your own.

Yeats, When You Are Old
When you are old and grey and full of sleep,
And nodding by the fire, take down this book,
And slowly read, and dream of the soft look
Your eyes had once, and of their shadows deep;...

Elizabeth Bishop, The Moose
...Goodbye to the elms,
to the farm, to the dog.
The bus starts. The light
grows richer; the fog,
shifting, salty, thin,comes closing in...

John Donne, The Cannonization
FOR God's sake hold your tongue, and let me love ;...

Sylvia Plath, April Aubade

Worship this world of watercolor mood
in glass pagodas hung with veils of green
where diamonds jangle hymns within the blood
and sap ascends the steeple of the vein.

A saintly sparrow jargons madrigals
to waken dreamers in the milky dawn,
while tulips bow like a college of cardinals
before that papal paragon, the sun...

<>Walt Whitman, Out Of The Cradle Endlessly Rocking
...I, chanter of pains and joys, uniter of here and hereafter,
Taking all hints to use them, but swiftly leaping beyond them,...
A reminiscence sing...

Emerson, The Problem
I like a church; I like a cowl;
I love a prophet of the soul;
and on my heart monastic aisles
Fall like sweet strains, or pensive smiles;
Yet not for all his faith can see
Would I that cowled churchman be.

Why should the vest on him alure,
Which I could not on me endure?...

Shakespeare, Sonnet 130 - My mistress' eyes are nothing like the sun (remembered vividly by My So-Called Life fans:
"And why is that? Why is he in love with her? What is it? What is it about her?"

"She's not just a fantasy. She's got like, flaws. She's real.")

My mistress' eyes are nothing like the sun;
Coral is far more red than her lips' red;
If snow be white, why then her breasts are dun;
If hairs be wires, black wires grow on her head.
I have seen roses damasked, red and white,
But no such roses see I in her cheeks;
And in some perfumes is there more delight
Than in the breath that from my mistress reeks.
I love to hear her speak, yet well I know
That music hath a far more pleasing sound;
I grant I never saw a goddess go;
My mistress when she walks treads on the ground.
And yet, by heaven, I think my love as rare
As any she belied with false compare.

Elizabeth Barrett Browning, Sonnet V
...Behold and see
What a great heap of grief lay hid in me,
And how the red wild sparkles dimly burn
Through the ashen greyness...

Denise Levertov, Variation on a Theme by Rilke
and what I heard was my whole self
saying and singing what it knew: I can.

Emily Dickinson, After Great Pain
...This is the Hour of Lead--
Remembered, if outlived,
As Freezing persons, recollect the Snow--
First--Chill--then Stupor--then the letting go--

W.H. Auden, Lullaby
...Lay your sleeping head, my love,
Human on my faithless arm;
Time and fevers burn away
Individual beauty from
Thoughtful children, and the grave
Proves the child ephemeral:
But in my arms till break of day
Let the living creature lie,
Mortal, guilty, but to me
The entirely beautiful...

Frank O'Hara, Meditations In An Emergency
Am I to become profligate as if I were a blonde? Or religious
as if I were French?

Each time my heart is broken it makes me feel more adventurous
(and how the same names keep recurring on that interminable
list!), but one of these days there'll be nothing left with
which to venture forth...

Ginsberg, A Supermarket In California
What thoughts I have of you tonight, Walt Whitman, for
I walked down the sidestreets under the trees with a headache
self-conscious looking at the full moon...

Amanda Mattos Hearts The O.C.

Not a secret. But as I'm currently filled with much much love after a really good episode, thought I'd share some favorite O.C. links, etc. with you, my loyal fan base (chuckle chuckle). I don't actually read these things religiously, but a little Cohen does tend to brighten up a work day that's dragging on.

Let's start with a picture of a gloriously referential and rewarding moment:

Oh you guys :)

USA Today's weekly pop culture reference run down: Every week they run down all the references made in the show and define them.

The OC Files: Episode guides are good, particularly because they feature qutoes and PICTURES from each episode. Takes a few days to get quotes and pics up, but always fun (and the source of the pictures on here).

TV Tome's OC page: TV Tome is a good site for all things tv, but it's another really good source for answering those "wait, what was it that Seth said to Ryan about CPK?" kinds of questions. Triviatastic.

Essay: My favorite pop culture blogger directed me to this article that sounds like something I would have written in college, discussing the merits of the OC, in particular light of the Mallpisode.

Quiz: Which OC character are you most like? Apparently, I'm Kirstin. See my stats below :)

Television Without Pity: Sometimes the reviews and recaps here are a little too cynical for my tastes (I love to love tv unconditionally), but they're often funny.

OC Madlibs: That game you played on the bus to your elementary school field trips is back, and more scandalous than ever!

And lastly, let's give three cheers as favorite couple #2 moves closer to reunion:


************************************************************

Just took a which character are you most like quiz:

You scored as Kirsten. You are a perfectionist. Be weary of being too rigid and limiting your openness to varied experiences. Neat freaks are just as irrational as slobs. A half messy person is, in fact, the ideal. Optimal evolution (according to the research) is dependent on a sufficient amount of random variation and being overly regimented inhibits variation. Kirsten 72% Jimmy 56% Luke 55% Summer 50% Anna 44% Sandy 39% Seth 39% Julie 33% Caleb 28% Marissa 22% Hailey 17% Ryan 11% Oliver 0% What OC character are you? created with QuizFarm.com

No witty title is coming to mind...

I am sitting here thoroughly in a haze, as last night was quite a good time. I went to dunkin donuts this morning and got their new steak egg & cheese sandwich...do not order this. It was definitely more like salisbury steak than anything else. Blech. I'd have to say the highlight of last night was, while standing at the bar and looking in the mirror behind it, when Liz and I decided that we're such different sizes it looks like we're not part of the same species. Seriously, my head dwarfs hers. Or, her head gargantuanizes mine. We definitely need Jenna as the buffer between the two of us, because when it's just us, we look absurd. Or at least, I look absurd in all my hugeness by comparison. There should be a double letter in there somewhere, but I'm not sure where. Also got to bond with the guy who sold me my car, and plan the Battle of the Air Bands party, which if we pull it off could prove to be the
best
party
EVER!
That's about all I got right now. Party on Wayne.

Tony & Felicia's new dog!!!! She's a French Bulldog, to join Miss, their American Bulldog, as the next step towards their multicultural bulldog troupe.

Slainte!

Happy St. Patty's to you! Celebrationing will be at McFadden's tonight, so hope to see you there.

Things:

1. The celebratron will be more than holiday oriented: I got the much needed raise I've been waiting for today. SUHWEET! I am no longer among the ranks of the overworked and underpaid. Congratulations to me! This also comes with a move across the hall into an office...WITH A WINDOW!

2. Yesterday Drew and I went to Thai Pillin for lunch. Apparently, Snoop Dogg has started writing their menus, as the day's specials included Spicy Sizzle Crunchy Duck Basil. Fo shizzle.

3. Baby cheetas. Seriously, so freakin cute. I just can't get enough.

4. I went on an inadvertent CD spree today. After starbucks, i decided to pop into tower to find that pretty much every CD I wanted cost between $6.99 and $9.99, so I stocked the F up so I could rock the F out. Currently rocking to:

• Kings of Leon (Aha Shake Heartbreak)
  
• The Mars Volta (Frances the Mute)
  
• Wilco (summerteeth)
  
• Spitalfield (remember right now)
  
• Simon & Garfunkel (Bookends)
• Alice in Chaings (greatest hits)
• Fiona Apple (When the pawn...)
• The Byrds (greatest hits)
• Super Furry Animals (Phantom Power)
• Belle and Sebastian (If You're Feeling Sinister)

There are few things that make me giddier than new music.... one of those few things is beer. And good news. So today, well, giddy is in abundence.

Slainte!

Happy St. Patty's to you! Celebrationing will be at McFadden's tonight, so hope to see you there.

Things:

1. The celebratron will be more than holiday oriented: I got the much needed raise I've been waiting for today. SUHWEET! I am no longer among the ranks of the overworked and underpaid. Congratulations to me! This also comes with a move across the hall into an office...WITH A WINDOW!

2. Yesterday Drew and I went to Thai Pillin for lunch. Apparently, Snoop Dogg has started writing their menus, as the day's specials included Spicy Sizzle Crunchy Duck Basil. Fo shizzle.

3. Baby cheetas. Seriously, so freakin cute. I just can't get enough.

4. I went on an inadvertent CD spree today. After starbucks, i decided to pop into tower to find that pretty much every CD I wanted cost between $6.99 and $9.99, so I stocked the F up so I could rock the F out. Currently rocking to:

• Kings of Leon (Aha Shake Heartbreak)
  
• The Mars Volta (Frances the Mute)
  
• Wilco (summerteeth)
  
• Spitalfield (remember right now)
  
• Simon & Garfunkel (Bookends)
• Alice in Chaings (greatest hits)
• Fiona Apple (When the pawn...)
• The Byrds (greatest hits)
• Super Furry Animals (Phantom Power)
• Belle and Sebastian (If You're Feeling Sinister)

There are few things that make me giddier than new music.... one of those few things is beer. And good news. So today, well, giddy is in abundence.

Hey You! Yes You!

Adventures in stat tracking are quite often funny (like finding that someone got to this blog by googling "word me + liquid vicodin + lungs"). Today's highlight:

A reader from Yemen visited my blog for 4 minutes and 41 seconds.

Funnier still: they came to this blog from iraqsex.blogspot.com

All hail the internet!

(which, according to Sam, I'm responsible for)

Touching base with my obsessions

Here's an article about How To Save The O.C. Yes, this season has been of a far lower caliber than last, but I still (as we all know), love it. This article has some really good pointers though. Take heed, Schwartz. Let's move away from the lightning round, and bring back some conflict that bears relevance.

Also, the William Morris Agency's president was going around saying that my beloved Sarah Michelle Gellar was "nothing before the Grudge." So, she dumped them. Millions of Buffy fans, myself included (is there a stronger word for included?), could tell you a thing or two million otherwise.

These stories were brought to my attention by the always enjoyable Wendy Matheson's blog on USAToday.

Just Because

I was trolling around Friendster & My Space for no good reason, and found a few pictures I enjoy and wish to share with the world at large:


The guys (minus a few) at Tech's graduation last year. I took this picture, not too shabby, huh? Magic finger through the ear, gets Steg every time. (That's Sam Young, Chris Hoy, Jan Sterbutzel and Matt Stegmaier, for those inquiring minds that want to know.)


Daaaaaaaaaayum Ruddock!!


This is Alan. We're going to San Diego in May and it's gonna rock. That's why he has a guitar.


Somehow, because fate is a funny funny thing, Becca Berman connects me on Friendster to every guy I have no desire to be connected to. All of her friends are friends with guys from my past. It's truly odd. I still love her though.


She's my friend on Friendster, so that means we're friends for real...right?


This is just because Liz and Kelly (not pictured) read my blog all the time from Emory. I do appreciate the ATL lovin. And Grebs just makes me laugh, if for nothing more than the memory of her passing out over first base in a kickball game.


Tyler & David Wain: BFF! Tyler & Amanda: BBF! (Tyler = blonde headed kid on the right)


Hey, look who I found! I think the last time I saw Sean Lutkenhouse was when he took Stacy & I out on a date, highlighted by the Bodyguard soundtrack, because it was the most romantic CD in his parents' collection.


Really, every day can use a little more Pielsticker.


And let me wish a very happy birthday to the one and only Bobby Rhatigan. I'll be going over to his and Jack's (see below) and Steven's new place tonight to celebrate. They live all of 2.5 miles from me. Wooooooooohoooo! (got this one off google, not friendster)


How perfect is this? Jack cutting the girl out of the picture. Cracks me up.

And in summation:
gdariusjr: i just did a presentation in my Econonics class
gdariusjr: and my example was based on the footloose tractor scene
gdariusjr: at the end i was like, let me add that Kevin Bacon only stayed on cause his shoelace was caught, a hidden externality