Set your seat warmers at 3 and buckle up!

Well hello ladies and gentlemen! Welcome to a really really long social activity recap blog! I've been such a busy girl since I came back from Arizona that I went and got myself sick as a dooooggie. I figured hey, if I can't actually be having any fun right now, I might as well reminisc about the fun I have had from the comfort of my sick bed as I look into the dark darkness that is a Thursday night without a new OC and without Whitlows. (Side note: boy oh boy, my bed certainly does come up a lot in this blog. And not in a sexual way.)

So. Wednesday brought a return to the office and my annual performance review. Long story short, I am one hell of a hot commodity and my boss simply wouldn't know what to do without me! Suhweeeeet! They really, really like me (*appropriately timed Oscar humor). Whether this will translate into a raise or promotion or most hopefully, both, will be determined sometime this week when I meet with the bigger boss. Cross your fingers. That night I did something I haven't done in quite some time -- talk on the phone for nearly two hours. With the same person. Whose house I could probably have walked to in less time. But that's part of the fun of it. I don't reccomend spraying noxious fumes inside your unventilated kitchen, but hey, if the gas on the stove was already running, no harm no foul...right? Huffing fueled a delightful conversation that jumped from Streetsweepers to Napoleon Dynamite to Life as a Driveway. A good time was had by all.

Thursday I got to work in jeans and snow boots, to be greeted by my boss who was puzzled as to why I wasn't ready for our meeting. Whoops. Had to run home and change into some business casual and then I was ready to rock. And by rock, I mean present concepts to my client. Rock on. The first of what would be a couple of snow storms that didn't amount to much started that afternoon; everyone was all a flutter and the roads were easier to drive on than they are when it rains. Whaaatever. Sidenote for Drew: They just played the "Let's get campy!" commercial. Anyhow, it was my turn to cook so I made delicious lemon chicken, some of Beth's secret recipe for spinach, and some tomato pasta (for the ghetto Giant by my house's lack of orzo). As we ate we enjoyed the oh so wonderful and glorious episode of the OC, which either brought back or hinted at bringing back all of my favorite couples. YES! Seth and Summer forever! Then, per usual, it was off to Whitlows. I walked in the door and was immediately greeted by Jess and WASTEY Jayner, and "introduced" to Laura's "really good friend." Then I found Drew, Spradlin, Tim, etc. and got to meet Drew's new interest (and approve). Tim inquired about the outcome of my whole bed fiasco. I told him that yes, it did come, and that it had been a red letter day. Drew responded, "me too, and that letter was Zzzzzzzz. Funny. I overheard some bathroom fodder too inexplicable to be suitable for eVesdropper that had to do with Omarion and "beer gremlins." A coworker of yore was playing in the band, so I felt a big of psuedo celebrity, which always spices up an evening. I learned a lesson that most of us could probably have figured out on our own -- that fire and Spradlin do not mix, but was rewarded with a delicious beer, listening to Spradlin's divine commentary ("Spradlin, those pearly gates are gonna slap you in the face!" - God), and meeting Air Spradlin's first fan at the bar. Whether it was foosball or tongue wars, Chris was all battling all over the bar's back room. Spradlin invented another kind of cup out of the Whitlows mug, but only after he really could have used it. We began to turn into pumpkins and retired to our automobiles, all set for a super fun Friday...riiiiiight.

Friday. Work, schmork. I was about to settle into the idea of renting a movie and sitting on my arse all night, but it turned out it didn't take a whole lot of coersion to get my out to the Clarendon Grill. I let mischeivous Amanda out for a moment and set the Google Trap (one of Hailey Mills' lesser known films), but all is well now. Right about that timje, Drew pulled everybody in for a little huddle - "I'm gonna let you in on a little secret. (pointing at self) Wasted." When it came time to partake in the cover band, I discovered that they were the cover band that the girls and I had had a blast at just about this time last year, that culminated in us starring on their website. Hilarious memories. Spradlin made haste with making pals with the drummer, then finding an emeny in the bathroom -- that equally hilariously turned out to be Bill Bozin. The night was saved by self-invitations, seat heaters, and fighting over pillows. All in all, a good time.

Saturday. Big day. Started out as any big day should, with napping. Sweet, sweet napping. Again, my bed. Such a pit. Sucks you in like no other. After reveling in the witless Jessica Simpson for a while, it was time to gather the pieces to the Spradlin puzzle and pay a visit to Pop Pop's house. I had a really great time with good old boys, learning the many uses of frying pans, the wonder of in-home vending machines (particularly when they're Redskins themed), the particular crowd to which Mattos Paints means something, the reality of American Hot Rods, and exactly how many times the word chrome can be used in the span of an hour.

Saturday night was the night of a million parties. My shortbus partner and I made it to all of them with the exception of Jon's welcome home party, which I'm really sorry I missed, and as a sidenote - WELCOME HOME JON FORDE!!!! We are all SO HAPPY to have you back! Anyhow, I guess I underestimated the degree to which Spradlin & Rob would "dress to impress," (given that no guy has ever actually dressed impressively upon that notion), but at least I ended up traveling with the two best lookin guys at the party, so rock on. But we're not quite there yet. First, a cocktail party at the Lampa's new insanely beautiful (if underfurnished) Arlington house. The "hour burbs" were great, the drinks were delightful, and the company was faaaantastic. It was desperate housewives, it was passions, it was barbie and the melon heads. As every good evening should be, it was punctuated by some quality bazooka joe action ("You can count on your friends, but it's easier to use your fingers and toes." "He who laughs last...obviously didn't get the joke."). It proved a worthy distraction, as I completely forgot to drive to Rob's house first and started making my way for Jenna's apartment. Whoops. Turned out we didn't really need to go to Rob's anyway, but hey, all in the course of things. We got some class of '00 fun times over at Jenna & Lizard's new pad (which is GREAT, by the way), certain people sipped some Hennesy on the rocks, then Team One was off to Tom Tom's (which, apparently had gotten touted around Vienna as "Amanda Mattos is renting out a bar in Adam's Morgan." My phone, it rang a lot. Until I handed it to a stranger who asked to use it, then Spradled away and left it for Tom Tom's bar staff to find later...).

I was greeted by Sara Dixon, with whom I proclaimed her to be my favorite person (and I hers) to any person that would listen for the rest of the night. There were too many other fun people there to even count, but it was a great night. Betsy told me that one of the drink specials was "all shooters are $3!" I thought hey, great deal, I'll buy 12. They weren't $3. But, I guess since I bought in bulk (?), the bartended charged me $4 instead of $7 a piece. Yeeeeeeeeeeeesh. Yowza, this blog entry is getting really long. Sorry peeps, bear with me. How about just catch phrases to explain the rest of Saturday night? Faux flirting ~ Dance party USA broken up by STINK BOMB! ~ jumbo slice and feeding jennie the meat-free pieces ~ the million man march to the car (with and without shoes) ~ Big Pun & The PT Bruiser ~ a 2-block/$15 cab ride ~ clown-style squeezing into the Passat ~ Mr. Spradlin's Wild Ride home, featuring tipstronics ~ Jennie Pearl and the love connection ~ "Wait...YOU KNOW HER!?!"

Sunday! Stumbly McGee made it to the car and drover herself to Betsy's birthday brunch at Whitlows, where they kindly seated all the hungover kids in the menopause room (I'm calling it this because of the heat flashes featured in this lovely setting). We had a great time, I miss my girls. I had fun even in spite of the fact that they enacted one of my biggest pet peeves - bringing me diet coke instead of regular. I'd have to say the highlight was the overheard 69 conversation, and how delightful our waitress found that to be. After some "WEIRD!" transactions, we said our goodbyes and it was off for some vegetation, tivo style, on mom's couch. Sunday night I attempted to attend Nicole's Oscar party, but after about thirty minutes of circling her building, could NOT figure out how to get into the damn place. I threw in the towel and went to watch them with mom, which turned out to be a better idea since it was Sunday night that I began to develop this here influenza.

Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday full of sniffles, coughes, sore throat, aches, fever...yeah, totally glamorous and awesome. I feel like a million bucks. Minus like a million and a half bucks. Anyhow, there you have it folks. *Exhale! I think I'm developing carpel-tunel syndrome, so I'm going now.

And, Alias is on.

And I'm hungry.

Goodnight.

Well, that's unexpected

GordonBShumway: i finally got around to bookmarking your blog so i can check it with the quickness
GordonBShumway: however i didn't pay attention to which 'bookmark folder thingy' i put it in
GordonBShumway: apparently you are now classified as "cancer imaging techniques"
GordonBShumway: congrats and/or condolences

A Very Will Smith Weekend

I was going to go with "My Adventures In The Wild Wild West" as a title, but then I realized that would make it the fourth Will Smith instance related to this weekend, so, I bow down to the Fresh Prince and allow him to reign supreme over my travels as he sees fit. I will, begrudgingly, get jiggy with it.

My westward travels started off in much the same fashion as they ended up, with lots of delayed flights, turbulance, and extended travel times. But, I made it in one piece, luggage in hand. And, with my new enhanced powers of deduction when it comes to adopted vs. biological children. Thank God for small favors. Beth and I had some excellent pizza for dinner(the first of about 8 boxes of pizza in Beth's apartment that weekend), then got all blinged up for a night out at Dos Gringos ("A great place to day drink!"), and Next ("A great place to kiss a DJ!"). We got into full on Beth/Amanda mode on the ride over, reading every road sign, many of the backwards, or with exclamation points at the end. Carrie and "Melissa" thought we were insane, but that wasn't a far leap from what they already believed. Dos Gringos had a new set up since last we met; they redid the inside bar to look like someone's basement, complete with wood paneling, old couches, concert posters, and a lava lamp. They even had stairs going over the wood paneling so you could scope it out and make sure mom wasn't coming down to bust the party. I felt right at home. We also got the distinct pleasure of seeing what Steve With Glasses would look like "on Rock 'n Roll." At Next, we had quite a big old time. Many many mixed drinks into the evening, it was time to take on the dance floor. I had no idea what I was in for. There was a group of guys that were getting steadily more and more skillful with their dance moves. There were about 5 of them in this entourage, including "Van Wilder/Curtis" and JC/"Center Stage." We met the guys and danced with them some, but then, before our very eyes, it turned into a full on DANCE OFF! It was full on high-caliber, Justin vs. Britney quality dance off. Even Billy Zane would have approved. There was a jump rope, a Zack Morris cell phone, and to many choreographed moves to discuss. It was Awesome (O).

The antics continued as we got home. Beth and I wanted to watch a movie in bed, slumber party style. By the time Mom asked us to turn down the racket, The Princess Bride wouldn't work, Beth got angry at the tracking and broke the remote, and we got Forrest Gump up and running - I had PTFO.

Saturday.
The weather continued to be atypical for that desert state with more rain on Saturday. Don't worry though, we made the most of it. After pointing out some obvious jokes to Beth (Kerre Russel, Russeling), we had a really good lunch at Applebees, and we learned a valuable lesson - babies love me, and are very suspicious of Beth. Then it was off to see Hitch (with a small wipeout on the way in; the pavement in Arizona is NOT suited to saturate much moisture, so with all the rain + reefs, I was slip slidin away, and I've got the bruises on my knee to prove it). Hitch was great, far better than I was expecting it to be. Still not a big Eva Mendes fan, but it was really funny, well put together, better than average romantic comedy. I also had my first Chantico from Starbucks. Holy deliciousness batman! The 390 calories and 21 grams of fat are almost worth it.

After putting our (game) faces on, it was off to the high school Beth works at (GO PRIDE!) for the regional championship basketball game. Man, I'd forgotten how fun high school basketball games were. "We" taped up ankles beforehand, rocked out to some Jesse McCartney, and listened to cheerleaders with "injured" ankles talk about how mean the other team's fans were ("Last time, they were yelling stuff at us, it was really mean, like, how we were all fat, and like ugly, and how we suck at cheer. They're so mean."). From what I saw, Corona del Sol fans didn't have anything on Mountain Point. Beth's kids all blacked out (with their clothes, not the way we do now) for the game, except one kid, who dressed up as Willy Wonka to tease a player for Corona (who looked just like Willy Wonka). He of course got chanted at, as did the short black guy ("Gary Coleman!"), and the Jewish looking guy ("Schindler's List!") (note: I don't really approve of either of those, just chronicling it). There was a reaaaaaaaally bad ankle injury to one of Beth's player's, but she was back in time for the victory to hear the following chant:

MP fans: REGION CHAMPS!
Corona fans: SO ARE WE!
MP fans: You just lost!

After the game, it was time for yet another night out on the town. We made some hot dogs and mac 'n cheese for dinner, got ready, and headed into Tempe to meet LMNOP and Aaron at The Tavern, home of a darts machine, an unimpressive dance off, and the world's...most... not-so-bright bartender. She charged us $4 for Red Bull Vodkas (except for one time, and when Beth asked, her response was "Oh well, sometimes I help people out, and sometimes I forget...so I'll just charge you $4). But apparently all that talk meant nothing, cause at the end of the night she goes, "So, your tab should be like $33, right?" Yes, absolutely. A full night of drinking mixed drinks? Definitely. Wow. On the way home, I decided to give Beth's little brother Robbie a ring on the phone. My message included something about "the sillhouette of camelback mountain in the moonlight," information regarding Beth running a red late due to "impatience," and the declaration, "You're a Tommasone, and I'm not. But it's ok, I'm comfortable with that." I also insisted, before PTFO, that Beth bring me water, ibuprofin, and a multi vitamin. "Now." When she urged me to sit up and take it, I "needed a minute." Then, PTFO ensued. Goooooooooood night!

Breakfast at The Good Egg (this really awesome breakfast place right next to Beth's apartment complex) proved delicious as always. I got my usual, the Wildcat Scramble, and Beth - true to form and ever competitive - got the Sun Devil Scramble. In-state rivalries, they're kind of her thing. I lusted after coca cola, and went gaga over babies, and learned that Beth hates babies, and springtime, and coca cola. How am I friends with her? We had a big day of shopping in Tempe (Pirates Arrrr Cool!), and of course, day drinking. We went to Four Peaks, this little brewery in Tempe with Peach beer, and some CRUCIAL pita bread. Not to mention the Spinach Gilmore (But when were you born? I mean, every Felicia I've ever known has been a woman...). We never made it to the Oxygen, Electronics and Shooting Range strip mall, so my trip wasn't quite complete, but, I think we did alright :) We decided to top our evening off with another movie, and made the fatal decision to go see The Wedding Date. AWFUL. Seriously. So bad. Huge chunks of the story line were edited out, it was absolutely terrible. Do not watch this movie. We'd have been better off reminding ourselves of the power of the babe. What babe? The babe with the power. What power? The power of voo doo... Ok, I'll stop.

So, Monday morning! Time to head out of town! Or, futily attempt to and get stuck in AZ another day! Alriiiiiiiiiiiiight. Beth royally confused her mom with "Oh, I'm on my way to the airport to pick up Amanda." She actually thought Beth had lost her mind for a moment there. Luckily, it was the nicest day I'd had there yet, so aside from the extra vacation day from work I had to take, it wasn't so bad. Beth went to work, and I wandered around her fancy pants shopping center across from her place. We met up at Barnes & Noble then went to the fancy pants grociery store and saw the coolest thing ever - a wine chiller. Works 25 times faster than a refrigerator! HOT DAMN! Cool damn? Anyhow, it was awesome. As are wasabi peas. I love those things. Y.A.S.! Y.A.O.!

We cooked up a delicious meal of chicken picata, risoto, spinach, and green beans (and Kansas Valley, AZ wine), watched American Idol (featuring a wahoo), and 24 (NOBODY GOES IN THERE WITHOUT ME!). ("He reminds me...." "Of Sean from Alias? Yeah, me too.") (John Gilmore = Jack Bauer). We played Trivial Persuit 90s edition, which is really fun. We added lifelines - 1 call, 1 google, 1 IM, and one call to Robbie or Josh. I won, despite Beth getting TWO 1997 Men In Black questions in a row, and a question about Jerry Maguire.

It was FINALLY time to get back to VA on Tuesday morning. All things went as planned from AZ to Pittsburg, however...that's where things started to fall apart again. Didn't get home till around midnight, but...I'm back, I had a great trip, and that's all anyone can really ask for. Thanks for the "killer" time Beth Anne :)

ponders t r e t c h

I know I'm long overdue for new posts, particularly about my trip to the wild wild west, but just gonna hesitate for a moment on the whole blogging process, as I've been pondering after conversations with a much revered colleague and a much revered friend.

I ultimately hope to post more carefully formulated essays, rather than the R.F.M. (rapid finger movement) that shoots out without editing, in quippy thought patters to this blog. However, that being said, I do enjoy (and my peaked readership says you enjoy, too) the current format. A conversation with a coworker about the nature of blogging lead me to begin thinking. Then, talking to Liz today, I realized that this has taken over for the space left empty by high school note-writing. There are inside jokes. Many much train of thought hopping. Question asking. Game playing. Time wasting. There's a lot less crush-tracking ("So you had first period with Richard? What is he wearing today?"). But there's stat tracking, and that's even better. There's talk of weekend activities, pre- and post-. There's discussion of culture - pop, alternative, high brow, and otherwise. The parallels run deep.

Just some pondertron for you while I take some time to formulate my AZ blog, from the jumbled list of mental notes I have about the trip. And it's Thursday - so you know that means you'll also be treated to the latest and greatest of the OC dinner party & Whitlows mug night.

Take care!

Ultimate Fantasy Rock Show

I keep running into brick walls lately when I try to get to concerts - one of my very favorite things to do (go to concerts, not run into brick walls). Wilco - no, Interpol - no, Coachella - no. My mounting desire to rock the f*** out blended with my ever kinetic imagination has lead me to this: Who would be on the bill at your Ultimate Fantasy Rock Show? Caveat: Only bands that you could possibly see today (that would still most likely rock today). While we'd all love to see the Beatles or the Doors or Sublime, it's just not gonna happen.

In forming my list, I'm taking into consideration the following:

• Quality of performance of bands I've already seen
• Bands I've always wanted to see but haven't
• Bands I've heard are great live
• Random Speculation

So, here's my dry run - Amanda's Ultimate Fantasy Rock Show (in no particular order).

Interpol
The Arcade Fire
Deathcab for Cutie
Third Eye Blind
311
The White Stripes
VACO
Phantom Planet
Ben Lee
Polyphonic Spree
The Black Keys
Brazillian Girls
The Shins
The Thrills
Tegan and Sara
The Black Crows
The Rolling Stones
Beck
Pete Yorn
Phoenix
Weezer
Ben Kweller
Ben Folds
A Tribe Called Quest
Green Day
Beastie Boys
Rilo Kiley
Red Hot Chili Peppers
Outkast
Blur

What do you think about THAT? Who would be at your show? Hollaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

Beth Anne!

I'm getting soooooooooo pumped to go visit Beth (aka Joseph) in AZ this weekend! We were talking about things to do, when my "best friend" suggested the following:

BATtwenty2: there was just a commercial for the rennaisance festival
BATtwenty2: we could do that.... ha
mads t r e t c h: ha. no.
BATtwenty2: hahahha
BATtwenty2: i could just see you
mads t r e t c h: participating?
BATtwenty2: eatin beef on a stick
BATtwenty2: and watching the jesters

OK, maybe. I probably would have a hell of a time, at least ironically. But, her next suggestion was DEFINITELY more up my alley:

BATtwenty2: there is a place where they have tons of baby tigers, lions and cheetahs
BATtwenty2: in fountain hills
BATtwenty2: i got to hold one once
mads t r e t c h: WHAT?
BATtwenty2: yea
BATtwenty2: it's called world wildlife zoo
BATtwenty2: http://www.wildlifeworld.com/Whitetigers.htm

My proclivity for furry things and holding baby things, and bringing in the whole baby cheetah wild card? CHA CHING!

Drip....Drip....Drip...

It's been quite a morning so far....awoken by Mike at 5am telling me a pipe was leaking in his closet. After some groggy phone calls to plumbers ("My number is....um....wait...Mike, what's our number? Shit. Hold on a second..."), there's one here now, hopefully fixing whatever problem this may be. So, um...

Happy Valentines Day

Hilarious.

Couldn't resist sharing this. I'm sitting here, reading Spin, and there's an article about Tommy Lee's recent trip to college (for the sake of an NBC reality show). He apparently blogged (for a short 4 days). The whole thing is worth reading, but I'm just going to share the final day with you, because...sweet jeebus is it hilarious:

September 1, 2004: fuck, dude. this place is wack. nobody knows how to party. like, today i meet these two dudes in the quad, and they seemed dope and they had trucker hats and they start telling me how they had this INSANE experience last night, and i'm mlike, "fuck yeah, boys, word me up." so they tell me this lame-ass story about how they started drinking right after class, and then they smoked some weed, and then they went to this frat party and they ended up making out with two drunk girls at the same time, and then one of them got a hand job. i'm like, "are you kidding me? two girls for two guys? one time in '87, nikki sixx and i shared six girls in 20 minutes, and two of them had pussies completely filled with uncut cocaine. AND we injected liquid vicodin into our lungs with syringes, AND we buried a policeman alive, AND we used dynamite to blow up a cow." and this all went down BEFORE the show.

Lordy, that's gonna return some weird google hits.

Weekend Fun

So far so good. Saw "Sideways" with B.Po (good movie, would appreciate it more if I were older, but much funnier than I expected). Then, went over to Sean & Danny's for birthdayness. From there, went to Modern in Georgetown to meet Drew, Spradlin, etc., and Jayne and Betsy came along and braved the wicked long line with me. I haven't been to that place since it was Sports Fans (oh the joys of borrowing IDs to be 18 and go there), it was pretty cool. Proceeded to Spradle about at Rob's afterwards, and carried the adventure on through to Saturday as Spradlin helped me oh so graciously to construct my bed and the impossibly difficult wicker baskets. WICKER OUT. SCREW LIKE HELL. Occupational Therapy: I show up, I smile, they touch me, I feel better, I go back. We also put together these wicker baskets that go underneath the bed, that were about 87 times harder to put together than the bed itself. "Why is this so difficult? I feel like I'm on the frickin short bus today." "Well, wanna sit next to me?"

A little of the magic that is Chris Hoy, for your enjoyment:

GordonBShumway: i happen to know there is this thing called a time zone
GordonBShumway: and i'm drunk as hell at 4 am
GordonBShumway: and your away message is still up after your flagrant short skirting
GordonBShumway: so i can only assume you have out partied me
GordonBShumway: touche, amanda mattos........touche
GordonBShumway: just so's you know, i didn't go quietly
GordonBShumway: i never do

After assembly central, I hung out with mom (and Dreama) and got ready for "date night" with Tyler, who was in town from JMU. We got dressed up and went out to dinner in Shirlingon. When we sat down, two different waitors tried to bring us high chairs. I've apparently gone from looking under 21, to looking like the mother of two. I think it was probably because I had asked for mats and crayons...which they saw us both coloring on, and yet still didn't card us. Whatever mang. "But...they said no pets?"

Dinner was topped off by a quick visit to Jill's new pad. I called for directions, and she said "Oh, you're in Shirlington Village? OK, walk to the corner, turn left, and I'm on the 4th floor." Whoa, easiest directions ever. I was pretty wiped from Friday so it was early to bed and pretty average timing to rise for me. I got to bond with my good friend, The Mall, for the first time in months. Thanks to the beauty of exchanged gifts and gift cards, I got some really freakin sweet stuff for mmmm, almost nothin.

The band Dogs Die in Hot Cars is really good, check them out.

My bed is really pretty, I do think it was worth all the trouble (well, at least, some of the trouble).

Nirvana, dude

I heard "Love Buzz" on the radio this afternoon. I'd totally forgotten that song existed, much less that it fricken rocks! Was that on the "Mad Love" soundtrack? I saw that movie on my first date. Hmmm, Amazon tells me it wasn't on the soundtrack, but I'm pretty sure it was in the movie. Perhaps while they jet skiid or something along those lines? What in the world is the past tense of "to ski?" Creepy scene with all the eyes toothpasted to the walls is coming back to me now. My mom still won't let me live down my review of that movie: "Stupid, but good." How excited I was when the power house combo of Drew Barrymore and Chris O'Donnel teamed up again that summer in "Batman Forever?" Ahhh, to be 12 and ultra alternative again...

Being 23 and fairly alternative aint half bad either. Today's flavored up with The Libertines and the new Postal Service CD (only 4 songs, mainly remixes, but still tight).

And my last blog was totally right, audience participation does indeed rock. Keep with the responses, I heart them. And you. I heart you.

Audeince Participation ROX!

As I was walking into the office this morning, bouncing around to "Just What I Needed" by The Cars as it played in my head (punctuated by bars of "Falling" by Ben Kweller), I thought of a fun blogging idea -

What song is in your head right now?

Told ya so

See, Ikea is evil.

http://www.thisislondon.com/news/articles/16511541?source=PA&ct=5

Happy Chinese New Year!

BAKAW! May the year of the Rooster be good to you my friends.

I suppose it's also Ash Wednesday, so for those of you that partake...happy lent?

Sorry for the lack of updates, it's getting to be the really really busy time of year for me around here. Aside from that, I've had a really great past couple of days. Eating Matza & french onion dip (who knew?), bed!, stoli doli, stupendous friendlies and the crazy drugged out lady on Super Bowl Sunday, enough left overs to give Ralphie May a tummy ache, lots of good friends sharing those leftovers -- and old yearbooks (featuring the dreamy 4th grade Kenley Sands), plans to go to San Diego with Alan, and dancing the night away on Fat Tuesday (with Spradlin, a.k.a. Twinkle Toes). And on top of all of that, I get to look forward to PHOENIX next week! ("What!? You're going to PhOnix? YOU are going to the biggest city in Arizona?! But we're gonna make snow angels...ON THE ROOF! For SURE!") Arizoooooooooona, Arizoooooooooooona, here I cooooooooooooooooome :)

Um, I haven't done a reader participation type bloggy in a while, so, here's a pretty generic one for ya - que es tu cerveza favorita? Gringos: What's your favorite beer?

For me, favorite is probably still Starr Hill Amber Ale, but on the daily I'll always go to Yeungling.

Comment away my peoples, and have yourselves a lovely day.

Important Announcements

1) My cell phone seems to have erased about 90% of the numbers I had saved. Please oh please send me yours - AKMattos@gmail.com

2) My dad had a super bowl party where he was apparently expecting about 800 people to attend. He's going out of town tomorrow, so I received all of the leftovers. It is seriously so much food that I actually have to have people come over and help eat it. Monday night! Excessive leftover-eating party. Lemme know if you're in! 7:00ish, b.y.o.t. (bring your own tupperwear)

3) I love Joe Gibbs.

4) My favorite superbowl commercial: The Ameriquest spaghetti sauce/cat incident one. It had the entire room "lol"ing. Clever, I remembered who it was for, mass appeal, the message and the vehicle actually coordinated, original...good stuff. And that's my professional opinion.

Please please give me your number and help me eat food!

The Swedish are coming! The Swedish are coming!

IT'S HERE!!!!!!

Now on to assembly, but by god I feel like I've just won some sort of epic battle. Noresund bed, you are mine!!!! I actually cried a little (more like wept) when I saw the truck pull up. Halleluia!!!!!!!

Oh, and here's some more Vonnegut....talk about perfectly encapsulating so very very many of my nights:

Before we took the measure of each other's passions, however, we talked about Frank Hoenikker, and we talked about the old man, and we talked a little about Asa Breed,and we talked about the General Forge and Foundry Company, and we talked about the Pope and birth control, about Hitler and the Jews. We talked about phonies. We talked about truth. We talked about gangsters; we talked about business. We talked about the nice poor people who went to the electric chair; and we talked about the rich bastards who didn't. We talked about religious people who had perversions. We talked about a lot of things.
We got drunk.

Oh Oh My My Goodness Goodness

Well, the Ikea saga continues. In order to avoid throwing my entier moral fiber under the buss and borrowing a gun and or flame thrower from someone and taking matters into my own hands, I've decided to rely on a more passifistic approach, because quite frankly I was going a little nuts. That doesn't mean I won't continue to persue reparations, but, I'm trying to keep the frustration levels minimal.

Anyhow, aside from all of that steaming dog crap, the weekend hasn't been half bad. Got to see some John Lane (haHA!), did some happy houring at the Front Page, drinking through my "brouth" with the self proclaimed "Most interesting human I've ever met....me." - Drew, a.k.a. Christian, realized the random connections between his friend Janet and Diana, got obliterated with some DUcks, sat around ripping CDs, reading "Cat's Cradle," eating 40 spices hummus, waiting for Ikea (still what I'm doing right now), did some home improvement type stuff with the help of the world's most generous and industrious mom (who also gave me a new vaccuum for valentines day, so romantic), had people (and Missy) over to chill here and had a great time as Felicia stumbled with the card reading in Trivial Persuit and Liz got irate about switching seats in ass hole...this sentence is absurdly long, but, I'm gonna just keep rollin with it...went to J.V.'s to get our Jail House Rock on (as Liz and I were wearing matching blackand white striped shirts, and the band was jonesing for Elvis big time, not that I blame them), came home and drunkenly baked cookies, as we all know I love to do, and played more trivial persuit, helped lizzard take out her contacts, woke up to wait for ikea.....and here I am.

I'm gettin ready to head over to a Super Bowl party at my dad's place. I would love to be able to make a dip or something to bring with me, but I am eternally chained to the powers of the bed that just won't come, so I can't make it to the grocery store. *Sniff.

One of the brightest spots of the past week is the cheetah cubs at the National Zoo. I haven't gone to see them, but ohmigod, they could not be cuter. Those little face stripes just kill me. You can watch them on the CheetahCam - which I'm having trouble linking to at the moment, so...find it?

And in summation, the whole point of me blogging right now was just to post a vonnegut quote...ohmigod, i just thought i heard a truck outside....false alarm. To the always refreshing vonnegut and his relentless ability to turn a phrase:

"All of the true things I am about to tell you are shameless lies."

Alright, who brought the bag of dirt?

Friendly Bloggers: Revealed

A bunch of my non-Madison friends have started to ask me "who's this blog guy, Drew?" and to answer, Drew is....

(the one on the right)

And to solve any other mysterious blog-linked friends....

Meet Gavin, the token black guy (I'm in there too as one of the dime a dozen blondes)


Meet Betsy, of famed recognition on my away messages and profile for about 5 or 6 years now (not to be confused with Beth or Becky) (or me, since I'm actually in this picture too)


Meet Aaron...actually, this isn't Aaron, just someone who hillariously shares his name. Google image search didn't deliver on any actual pictures of Aaron.


Meet Jill, the one on the right. New to the land of the bloggers, old to the land of the buffy lovers.


Meet Ass (as in, Piece of)



And I suppose, after all of that, you'd like to meet me. Really though, if you haven't met me and read this regularly, that's kind funny. Viva la internet!

I'm the smoker on the left (Beth is on the right, Lisa on the far left). Note the splotches. And the general badassery (in formal wear).

Goodmorning Sunshines!

Another chilly day here in the office. Not sure why I continue to plan outfits for work, as I seldom take my jacket off (save those days where they overcompensate and it's about 85 in here all day). Anyhow, good morning! It's Friday! Oh happy day! No bed delivery (insert long string of grumbly noises and curse words here), but hey, it's the weekend, so I'll relax a bit. Thursdays continue to be oh so pleasant; last night Diana made some delicious white chicken chili, Seth and Summer had "a moment," my Seth and I got a chance to chat (and plot a bit for Coachella, I hope hope hope this happens) , and I had lots of fun at Betsy's congratulatory happy hour at Whitlows. I saw some Spradlin, I heard some mysogenistic jokes care of Yanny Du, I got treated to heaploads of the JayneGiggle (and the LauraGiggle, the JennieGiggle, and the NicoleGiggle - there was a lot of giggling goin on at Whitlows last night), ran into somebody I studied abroad with (who as it turns out, lives with "the lap dance" guy from our bid night...), and most importantly, took a W'Lap! We unanimously agreed it to be the best Lap since the original (all it was missing was Gusburgers, free of charge). Me thinks it's time to sniff out some caffeination, so, here I goes.

I HATE IKEA AND RDI

In the continuation of my Ikea saga, still in progress:

So, the bed was supposed to be delivered 1/23. Cancelled because of snow (that it snowed the day before, even though the roads were fine on Sunday), rescheduled for 1/29. Between 10 and 2. I waited all day for those fuckers, called the delivery company - RDI - no less than 5 times, to always be told "we're running late," or to get hung up on. Finally, around 6:30 pm, the guy at RDI goes, "Oh, nobody called you this morning?" No, nobody called me this morning <>. "Yeah, we couldn't find your stuff in the warehouse." WHAT? Many hours with the managers at Ikea and RDI later, discovered that RDI was in the process of moving, and my items were lost in the jumble. Ikea was sending new over to them and they were to deliver tomorrow - 2/4. I'm leaving out a lot of detail here because there's a veign on my forehead I'm pretty sure will burst if I get any more frustrated right now. Just now, I call the manager at RDI - Mondale - to confirm my delivery. No, no record of that for tomorrow. Well Mondale, we need to figure this out right now, because I'm not waiting around another day for you people to bring my my damn bed. Well, in order to do anything, we'll need your case number. Yeah, I don't have that, that's between you and Ikea. Yeah, well I can't resolve anything without a case number.

Great.

**Dialing Ikea's "Case Resolution" Department. Happen to get one of the 8 or so people I've spoken to in the past few weeks, a very very nice woman. No managers were available, so she started trying to reach RDI, because according to Ikea's system, everything is all booked for me to get this thing delivered tomorrow.

Great.

So yeah, as of right now, I'm sitting here on hold while she tries to get RDI to figure out what the fuck is going on.

I AM CURSED. I HATE IKEA, though their customer servcie department (albeit not their actual customer service) is really very good. I HATE RDI. Whatever the fuck RDI stands for, I hate them.

I need a beer and the OC stat.