Sweet Relief

The day before Thanksgiving (last Wednesday for those of you reading this pre-coffee), while I was in the process of making chilli, my disposal stopped working. My sink flooded with grossness and, because I was cooking, a mountain of dirty and unrinseable dishes began to build around me. For anyone familiar with my Type-A tendencies -- particularly where the kitchen is concerned -- this sent me into a constant state of uneasiness.

Now, because during my home inspection last fall before I moved in, I knew that a wire was exposed on my disposal and, though it was completely functional, it was old and should be replaced. So last fall I bought a new disposal. My friendly neighborhood Patrick Pielsticker, that tiny ball of German-Brazillian fun and handy man skills, promised to install it for me. It fell by the way side as our schedules never meshed, and my old disposal continued to work, so it sat under my sink. For a year. Lucky for me, I had it on hand when this little disaster struck last week.

Patrick couldn't come over Wednesday night, but he made his way over Thursday before the binging festivities began. He was workin at a nice little clip until -- bad news. A piece of the old one had been on there so long, he needed a special tool to get it off. Ugh. Promises to return in the morning were made, and it was off to my dinner, sans-side dish, as the kitchen wasn't useable. Patrick tends towards the flighty side of things sometimes, so it wasn't until tonight that he was actually able to come by. Lots of sweat and elbow grease later, it was out with the old, in with the new, and I was sent in to clean up the disgusting wreck that was my kitchen.

I won't go into too much detail, but just know it was in a serious state of funk. Mold was involved. That's all I'll say.

I've just finished cleaning every dish, running the waster twice, cleaning off all the surfaces, cleaning the floor, and taking out the trash. I feel like a weight has been lifted. I have seriously been avoiding spending time at home as much as possible since this started. I feel at home in my home again, and my adorable little kitchen with the windows and breeze through doors to the porch and miami spice colored walls and white cabinets is back to it's normal state of lovely. The relief I'm feeling... can barely be put into words.

Farewell

I wish a peaceful rest to two influential figures on my child hood, Pat Morita and Stan Berenstein.

Calling all friendlies!

Anybody wanna go see Rogue Wave on Saturday at Black Cat?

Or Akron/Family at Iota next Thursday (12/8)?

Linkemups

• Drew beat me to blogging about it, but yesterday Fark introduced me to the awesomest toy ever. Pandora, a tool of the Music Genome Project, lets you enter a band you love and it delivers songs by bands that it thinks you should also like. I used Arcade Fire and it's serving up some tastey tidbits I've never heard before. Rock n roll!
  
• Oh, Clinton. The Skins may be sending me to an early grave, but at least your hijinks (without punkery, which therefore makes them endearing instead of offensive) are dependable. Check out this analysis of Portis' press conference get ups. What's your favorite? (via Jamie, I think)
• Slate's science section, fascinating as always.
  
• Where Are They Now: Goonies Edition. (via Boop Bloggy Blog)
  
• A really well written account of I66's discovery that he was adopted. It's effective without being melodramatic or naval gazing. A really great read.
  
• I know how you kids feel about your Laguna gossip, so here ya go. My guesses to the Laguna Beachers "so bad we can't name names": Jessica/Alex/Alex, Jason, Jason.
  
• Scary.
  
• OK, and this just in from Slate Science: Are Twins Dumber?
  

I'm Wonder Woman!

Yes, I realize it's pretty lame, but fun nonetheless. Which super hero are you?

Your results:
You are Wonder Woman

Wonder Woman 85% Superman 80% Robin 70% Green Lantern 70% Supergirl 65% Spider-Man 60% Iron Man 60% The Flash 50% Catwoman 45% Batman 30% Hulk 20%

You are a beautiful princess with great strength of character.

Click here to take the "Which Superhero are you?" quiz...

I heart

This new Sprint "Karma Chameleon"/"Where Da Hood At" commercial. Nananananana where's the hooooood at? Where's the hoooooood? ..... Makes me laugh every time.

Not to clutter my blog with lascivious thoughts, but...

Seriously, Wentworth Miller is just SO hot. I could watch his knowing glances all day long. And all night. He's got that whole broody Angel quality, only WAY hotter (no offense to my main man Boreanaz), and less end-of-the-worldy. Those blue eyes... those pink lips... those broad shoulders... Yum. It's gonna be a looooong time till March.

UPDATE: They just had a commercial for 24!!!! I got chills!!!

It's just dawned on me

...as I walked past the mirror in the office bathroom that my outfit, aiming for peasant-cute, actually looks a lot more like I'm vying for a role in Star Wars. Somewhere between this and this, in dress-and-boot form. I'm deeply embarassed and, after a trip to the atrium for lunch, don't plan on leaving the confines of my office for the rest of the day.

Break Ups & Unholy Alliances

Thanksgiving break was long and sufficiently full of enough debauchery to make my brain a little melty. Enjoy some needless celebrity gossip while your mind and body catch up to your non-vacation life-schedule.

As most of you probably know by now, Nick and Jessica have officially called it quits. It was inevitable, but I actually feel a little bit sad for these two. Note to everyone in the world: reality TV is BAD for relationships! And babies! Reality TV kills babies! So stay away from reality tv, ok?

Laguna's Talan and Kimberly Stewart have called off their engagement. This one gets a big PHEW! from my camp. Not that Talan's all that bright, what with being an awful, awful singer who dropped out of high school to persue his music career, but Kim Stewart is just... ewe. In the words of your former flame, Talan, you guys are dunzo!

When I saw "Mischa Barton" in a headline, I hoped and hoped it was to tell me that she had split up with the horribly hideous Cisco Adler. Unfortunately the news was just the opposite -- apparently, they're now engaged. Seriously, who is this guy and how did he get his slimy unattractive claws into my Mischa? I'm all for happiness and whatnot, but these guys break the 20% rule about 4 times over. Doomed for failure. I hope.


(20% rule: If one half of a couple is 20% more attractive than the other, the relationship just won't work out. Did I get that right Becky? Another arbitrary measure for realtionship success: if the woman's head is larger than the man's, or if there's a big difference in their head sizes, it's no good.)

Sleep tight, don't let the bamboo bite

What's the fashionable Stickaholic wearing to bed this winter? A Butterstick tshirt to start, of course. Now, the ever timely folks over at J.Crew can help you finish off the outfit with a pair of panda pants. Zunta, take note. Christmas is right around the corner! Or so the ugly jewelery commercials on TV keep telling me!

Thanksgiving Break: A Photo Essay

Saturday night -- Sam's party -- The Great Saltine Challenge
"10 saltines in a minute? Dude, too easy."


Not actually recent, but, I wonder what exactly a "all natural panda cream" candy consists of. Catherine, this one's for you.


Stinker shows his Redskin spirit. Sadly, another tough tough loss.


The animal world was all about accesorizing lately. Here we have Otis, rocking a coach bag.


These two pics are funny bc. it looks like Matt's arm is diving through into the next shot.


Tyler playing the theme song from Mike Tyson's Punch Out, to the glee of the crowd.


For more photo-y goodness, check le flickr page.

I'm thankful for

IMG_0542.JPG
Originally uploaded by AMattos.

my old friend Stick.

Note: for some Stick history, check out this and this.

The note I arrived home to this morning

Amanda,
I’m drunk and coleman is holding me hostage. I’m sleeping in your bed to escape him. Feel free to kick me out or make passionate love to me. I do not care I wish only that you made it home safely and did not get arrested.
Love,
John

Do it

Something I really love: Pouring really cold coke over ice so that some coke freezes to the ice and makes coke slush.

Something I really dislike: Changing directions in the middle of a grociery store aisle.

Your turn!

Torn Asunder

It's with a heavy heart that I write this post. As many of you know, The Ineffible Chris Hoy is the proud owner of two Red Ear Sliders, a girl named Bitey and a boy named Amanda Mattos.

Amanda Mattoses, Face to Face

When conversing with him recently, I inquired about my pal Amanda Mattos, to hear sad, sad news. Things aren't going well in the tank. Bitey is apparently a tempestuous woman who is living up to her name more and more all the time, to the great perill of Amanda Mattos' neck and shell. The break up, it's ugly. Chris is investigating acrylic divider options, as, after the lawyer fees, a second aquarium would really break the bank. But I ask, what could have come between these two tank mates? They started off together, all tiny and adorable, friends for years, before the rift. I hope they're investigating couples counseling, because my namesake's little heart may be broken otherwise. He's got a hard shell, but there are feelings underneath. Let's remember the good times, and hope for a peaceful reunion between Bitey and Amanda Mattos. A Christmukah miracle perhaps?

Music Meme: Inside Hurley's Discman

Via Drew,

If you’ve crashed on an island in the middle of nowhere with little to no chance of rescue, your iPod has enough juice for one more song, what do you put on and why?

Let's pose this question as it really would be, shall we?

What song would you be ok with having in your head for the unknown about of time you'll remain on said desert island?

Of course, as I flip through my mental catalog, the first things my brain does is play jokes on me. "Go with "I am a rock," by Simon & Garfunkel!" While my books and my poetry may protect my integrity, they won't go very far to pump me up for island living. Then "island living" sends me down the following spiral: island living --> About A Boy --> "Shake It Fast" by Mystikal. EH! Wrong again, madame funny brain. Are we "Hey Jude"-ing it? A little "Tiny Dancer" for the road? This is a really effing hard quandry. I'm gonna go with a song that just doesn't seem to get old. Perhaps not the perfect decision, but it's got that dark/light combo that would fit being stranded on a desert island. And it can be whistled, which is a key element for any song stuck in your head. I'm gonna go with:n "New Slang," by The Shins.


Oh, almost forgot - if you're bloggy, consider yourself tagged. If you're not, commentsectiontag you're it!

This week, in What-the-hell-ville

• Because football stadiums aren't physically big enought to satiate the sponsorship thirst of corporate America, the name-drop-ification of the world has turned to a new subject: entire towns. Ever been to Santa, Idaho? Well, now it's known as Secretsanta.com, Idaho. Seriously. (via Pop Candy)
• I'm fairly certain most DC-blogosphere-goers have already seen The Butterstick Blog, but in case you haven't... My personal favorites are the subhead ("I'm a panda, and I've got things to say"), and his note on "Tai Shan" ("This whole Tai Shan name thing, it's a public relations gesture and nothing more. All my friends call me Butterstick. That's what I call myself. That's my name.")
• Speaking of The Stick, this post on Unrequited Narcissism had me in stitches.
  

From Katie to Kathy, from Kathy to Me

Here are a few family-favorite recipes that oft appear on our Thanksgiving table. Most are old school, from my Georgia-born granny's family and down the line to mine (well, techincally, still my family). Anyway, enjoy!!

24 Hour Layered Salad

• 2 cups mayonaise
• 2 TBS sugar
• 1/4 cup milk
• pinch salt
• 1 head iceberg lettuce, chopped
• 10oz frozen peas, thawed and drained
• 1 cup sliced celery
• 1 cup chopped green pepper
• 1 small onion, thin sliced
• 10 strips bacon, cooked and crumbled
• 3/4 cup shredded cheddar cheese

Mix first 4 ingredients and set aside.
In large salad bowl, layer next 5 ingredients. Spread on dressing andtop with bacon and cheese. Cover tightly and refrigerate for 24 hours. Toss well before serving.


5 Cup Salad

• 1 cup mandarin oranges, drained
• 1 cup pineapple wedges, drained
• 1 cup little marshmallows
• 1 cup flaked coconut
• 1 cup sour cream

Mix all above together.
Then mix 1 box orange jello and 2/3 cup boiling water until completely dissolved. When cooled, pour over salad and cool in refrigerator to congeal.


Sweet Potato Souffle'

• Boil 3-4 large sweet potatoes (peel and slice into 1/4 inch slices first)
• Mash with 1 stick butter
• Add one cup brown sugar
• Beat one egg and 1 cup milk together
• Add to mixture
• Add one cup of raisins and 2 tsp vanilla (try golden raisins if you're not a big fan of nature's candy)
• Add 2 tsp cinnamon
• Top with marshmallows
• Bake at 350 until marshmallows brown - about 30 minutes

Baked Pineapple

Cream:

• 1/2 cup of butter (soft)
• 3/4 cup sugar (1/2 cup is enough)

Add:

• 4 eggs, beaten
• Number 2 can (20 oz) Crushed Pineapple

Stir in 5 slices of white bread (cubed).
Put all in buttered 1 1/2 quart casserole.
Bake uncovered at 350 for 45 minutes.
May be served hot or cold.

Enjoy!

Turkey Lurkey Do

So, as previously mentioned, turkey comas are in all of our near futures. Now, everybody has their own personal holiday favorite dishes. My mom won't be actually cooking the meal this year, so I won't get my specific dream thanksgiving meal (though I'm sure I won't be disappointed by the feast waiting for us at the Lampa's), but I thought I'd share my favorite menu. I'll share a couple recipes next (should you be at a loss for what to bring to your gathering this year), but in the mean time ~ what's your turkey day favorite treat?

• 24-hour salad
• Pineapple casserole
• 5 cup salad
• Green bean casserole
• Sweet potato soufle'
• Crunchy potatoes
• Mashed potatoes
• Gravy
• Turkey
• Cranberry
• Dinner rolls
• Pumpkin pie w/cool whip
• Wine.. loooooots of wine

Happy Birthday JDUUUUUUUUUUB!

I am a terrible horrible friend and forgot Jung Won's birthday on Saturday. Let's take a moment and give thanks for the most beautiful person I know that was a worm in a past life. Love you Dubski!!!

Can't wait to see you over Thanksgiving! (as previously mentioned)

Home for the Holladay!

Thanksgiving is great because of all of the gluttony and autumnal colors and whatnot, but my favorite part is reuniting with my old friends who've dispersed around the country and come home for some turkey. Over the next few days, so many of my favorites are NoVa bound, such as:

• Chris !
• Becky !
• Beth !
• Jung Won !
• Kevin !
• Matt !
• Joey !
• John !
• Natasha !
• Tyler !
  

There are probably others I'm blanking on right now. But anyhow, hurry home my friendlies! I miss you terribly!

Firing On All Goblets

Just 7 more hours till I'm in a stadium seating theater watching the new HP movie with my jaw dropped and a huge smile at the same time. It's like magic!! If I had a nickel for everytime I've used the abreviation "HP" to Drew in the past few days, and his computer-focused wires got crossed and a hilarious Harry Potter/Hewlett Packard exchange ensued, I'd have, like... 5 or 6 nickels. Anyhow, just wanted to share my giddyness with you all.

Guest Blogger: Tyler Cash!

Tyler has a new job down in Cville and it's in an office and stuff. We have witty email exchanges throughout the day (well actually, most of the wit is on his end, and my responses are like "Ha! You're so funny! That's awesome!). Anyhow, this morning's email was "My Blog." In email form, to me. But it was some grade A ranty goodness (with a liberal slant, appologizes for partisanship, to my conservative readers), so here you are: Deep thoughts from the brain of Tyler Cash.

1. my room (new room, was forced to move out of bigger room so that my roomate, who i am starting to really not like at all, could invite his friend to live with us. 5 people in a 4 person place = right)... is freezing cold.

2. i wonder if i will ever serve jury duty. i kind of want to.

3. i keep visuallizing strange but fun things, like someone in a mickey mouse costume getting beat with baseball bats by little kids. or trying to swim in a huge indoor swimming pool filled with nothing but paper.

4. drinking the night before work makes me feel, initially, like i have slept for about 40 minutes the night before. then i snap out of it, although i am somewhat more stupid-feeling than usual.

5. since i work at the army, surrounded by army people, i keep thinking about how in my mind, it seems like before the red scare of the 50's, the army seemed so less serious. picture those old news reels or disney cartoons or whatever, where they're like (in extreme 40's Naaaaa see! See here copper! voice) talking about soldiers happily lining up to duty, with some of them smiling, some of them goofing off, etc - Now our boys are all set. Look at Captain Johnson of the 43rd infantry. Come on boys, lets bring it home for the big one! Colonel Pete Abernathy of Oklahoma City writes a letter to his sweetheart, Judy. And there's mischievous Private Frank Patterson, up to his antics and having a good old time riling up the drill seargent, all the live long day! etc, continue old-timey corny hoo-rah cliche lingo, etc etc etc.

6. http://www.cnn.com/2005/POLITICS/11/17/cnna.kerry/index.html

7. continuing from point six - did you hear that dude murtha yesterday? calling for immediate withdrawal, etc, bush calling everyone who questions him (seriously though - he admitted that he talks directly to god, so why should we question him, and remember that Time interview? where he couldn't think of one thing he's done wrong as president? ever?) irresponsible. right. it makes me so furious sometimes thinking about how they can seriously do whatever the FUCK they WANT and get away with it. and how dare people question them. i'd love to question bush and cheney in a room where they are tied down and i get to push a button that causes extreme genital pain everytime they're being pompous, unreasonable, or cocky.

8. is 24 younger than it seems? do i feel old? sometimes i feel like i'm 19 still. sometimes i can't believe what the fuck happened to childhood.

Holy Cow!

Getting ready for work, sipping on my homemade mocha (coffee, cream, a spoonfull of hot cocoa mix, whipped cream, mmmmm), I just saw a new commercial for the Ford Fusion. What should they be playing in the background but my boy Brendan Benson!! (Song: Cold Hands, Warm Heart.) He's going the way of the Postal Service! But hey, I still love the Postal Service. This actually makes sense, with Benson hailing from Detroit, and ya know, that city's a little bit involved in the automotive industry. Alright, blurb over, off to work!

This Year in the Bluzz Factory

UPDATE: Holy crap, Kyle! You got linked (kinda like getting served, but with less spinning) on Pop Candy (formerly Hip Clicks), a USAToday.com blog I read always. Nice!

Boy. Our friendly neighborhood Information Leaf Blower's exercise in ranking sure has the tongues of the music blog world wagging. The individual contributors have revisited their picks, and the blogosphere at large (very narrowly defined here, out of pure and simple bias) has taken notice. Nicely done, Kyle. Because I spend way too much time and money thinking about this particular subject, I feel compelled to weigh in. The mission as presented to the distinguished panel of music bloggers was to submit:

the 10 best American bands that they've seen or heard in the last year. The purpose of this list is to reward bands for generating buzz in the year 2005. This isn't a ranking of career longevity.

Please re-read that to make sure you got it. This is NOT an all-time-favorites list. This is who, since January 1, 2005, has piqued your interest, done new and exciting things, pushed you to a record store or concert venue, or made you bluzz yourself. (By the way, Ryan, I love that term.) This is why your favorite bands may not be on the list. In 2005, I continued to love The Beatles. But in 2005, The Beatles didn't release a thought provoking album or push my buttons or tour. (The extremity of my example was chosen for emphasis. I'm not a dumb ass.) I'd say a good 95% of the commentary I've read in regards to this whole polling process circles around that one particular issue. There's a very narrow focus here, so get with it. You may have gotten stoned and thought about The Flaming Lips a lot this year, but did they prod the world at large? No. Not this year.

Moving on.

My Personal 2005 Bluzz Factory
Note: I benefit from having read the aforementioned lists and revisitations before making my own. If I were pulling out of thin air, I'd probably omit things that I never intended to, etc. I've got the leg up of backpacking on ingenuity, rather than producing my own. Also, so much of what I would say to support my choices has already been said. I'll only clarify where I feel it's necessary. No need for repetition.

1. The Decemberists

2. Brendan Benson: For shame in not including him on the list. By far the album that I listened to more than any other this year, and one of the best shows I saw. I can't wait to see what he does next.

3. Spoon

4. Death Cab For Cutie: A few years ago, my cousin (who was around 15 at the time, and even then knew more about music thanI could ever hope to) described Death Cab by saying, "Oh yeah, these guys are major." He was definitely right, they were major then. But with a fantastic discography behind them, they dropped Plans this year (and I don't care what anyone has to say about it, I love this album. I love it so much. You don't think it's all that Death Cab is supposed to be? I think that bringing me near tears everytime track 5 comes on is just about all any band can strive for. It was #2 to Alternative to Love in albums I nearly burned a hole in my iPod listening to so much this year) and (not just because it was their major label debut, but because the stars were aligned in their favor) blew up. In my eyes and everyone else's. I heart DCFC.

5. Interpol. Sure, they didn't do too much this year, save some remixes and iTunes exclusives, but I did spend much of this year going googley-eyed everytime the sounds of Antics entered my system. For me, January through April or so of this year was all about Interpol.

6. The White Stripes: Again, I don't care what any of you have to say. Get Behind Me Satan intrigued me more than any other WS album before it, and more than so many of the other albums I heard this year. In fact, I'd never been that partial to them previously, but it made me revisit their other work again. "Little Ghost" and "Doorbell" are two of the catchiest songs to come out in many moons, in my humble opinion. Liking this album apparently makes me totally uncool amongst the indie music blogger set, but whatever. It's a shame I'm willing to deal with.

7. Sufjan Stevens. Number one among bloggers and industry list makers alike. The man with the concept came on strong this year. And acted as the back drop to one of my favorite family moments of this year.

8. Kanye West

9. Rilo Kiley. In my top 5 of live shows this year without a doubt. Sure More Adventurous dropped in '04, but I really bonded with it this year. And, Portions for Foxes provided a catch phrase that Alan and I will be uttering to each other until we're senile. Which really is good news.

10. Beck. Guero was solid, brought him back to funk after Sea Change, and holy crap, I found out he was a Scientologist this year. Actually that docked him a few respect points, but it certainly caught my attention.


Much respect, seriously, for inclusion of Kelly Clarkson on the list. It's undeniable that she had a huge year and shocked a lot of the music world by how much they appreciated her album. I still wag the OVER RATED (say it like you're at FedEx field yelling at Shockey) finger at: Bright Eyes, The Fiery Furnaces, Animal Collective and Gwen Stefani. I know what you're thinking - "But Amanda, I thought you loved Gwen Stefani?! You do that hilarious impression of her! You love her, right?" Actually, no. I've never loved her. The first time I saw the "I'm Just A Girl" video, I wanted to drop kick my tv. I've enjoyed the occasional No Doubt moment, and she's certainly done plenty to ride the wave of success as far as she can take it, but she still rubbs me wrong. I respect her, but I'd rather listen to soooooooo many things before her fake-Japanese-girl-gang-imbibed album. But yeah, I do love "Hollaback Girl." I do suppose Green Day came back and came back strong this year, but to be honest, I haven't really liked a single thing I've heard off the new album. I can appreciate all of the things that have been said about it, but it's left me cold. No disrespect, Billie Joe. You were the central inspiration behind my 7th grade year, and I'll love ya for it long time.

I know that I have a lot more to say on this topic, but the multitasking is wearing me down. Until I can conjur additional thoughts, talk amongst yourselves.

Action!

ike spivey: movies have really blown for like the last 3 months and now there're like 40 I want to see

True story Ike! This lead me, of course, to list building. So here you go: Movies I Want To See. Join me, won't you?

1. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. NO DUH! I'm so stoked for this movie. I've had the "Difficult Times Lay Ahead, Harry" poster pinned to my work bulletin board for months now. It's probably my favorite of the HP books. The trailers are rock em sock em. Each movie has been so perfectly cast and directed to go along with the feel of each book. I can not WAIT for this. I'm going this afternoon to buy tickets to see it tomorrow night. (Remember, I'm the girl that had tickets weeks before the first movie came out, and threw an HP-themed party ~ with Betsy, of course ~ to commemorate the premeir.)
2. Jarhead. Jake, Jamie and Kanye. I would pay $6.50 (horrifying matine price) just to watch the commercial play on repeat for 2 hours. Add a plot and hot damn is this one I'm dyin' to see.
   
3. Walk The Line. I'm a sucker for a biopic. And I've got a soft spot for Reese Witherspoon. And if the press on this movie were any more glowing, it'd be swimming around the 'glades on Invasion.
   
4. Shopgirl. The reviews haven't been stellar, but my MSCL loving self can't stay away from a Claire Danes movie.
   
5. Rent. Played out as it may be, I'm stoked to see this. I loved the play a lot the two times I saw it in high school. And come on, who doesn't love a musical? Unless you've got a lump of coal for a heart, actors who break into song warm the coggles of your heart. It's a fact.
   
6. Bee Season. Before Spellbound, I probably wouldn't have perked up to this trailer as much as I did. But now, combine spelling bees with a heart warming story of a family overcoming its problems and reuining, and Juliet Binoche and well, that sounds good to me.
   
7. The Squid and the Whale. Seems like it's got a little bit of a Wes Anderson feel goin on here. I could be totally wrong. But I've read that the soundtrack is mind blowing, and that the movie matches it step for step.
   
8. The Aristocrats. I should have seen it a long time ago, but this is pretty much reknowned as the funniest damn thing to ever come to movie theaters.
   
9. Yours, Mine and Ours. Psych. Definitely not on my list.
   
10. The Libertine. It's got Depp. Johnny Depp. That's enough to get me there.
    

There are others, I'm sure, but those are what came to mind. Also, things that I never caught in theaters - like You And Me And Everyone We Know, and March of the Penguins - still gotta catch those. I'm too lazy to link-ify this post right now, but, knock yourselves out. And if you want to join me in catching any of these, let me know!

HUGE News!!

This news, brought to my attention by Ms. Kinlein, will probably only be of interest to Beth and Betsy, and any other Sigmas who were in on the joke:

Mulberry e-mail service company files bankruptcy

We all knew. WE ALL KNEW that Muberry sucked, and Simeon ruled. We shouted it from the rooftops! Well, at least, we shouted it from the window of moving vehicles at unsuspecting 1st years. And now it's time to pay the piper, you stupid, stupid Mulberry jerks! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA!

Note: I'm not happy about the people involved with Mulberry who face financial reprecussions, but it's just hilarious in terms of a long standing joke. But seriously, screw mulberry, GO SIMEON!

Tastes Like Christmas

The holiday drinks are BACK at Starbucks. Gingerbread lattes and peppermint mochas have come to pretty much define what Christmas tastes like, ever since Becky introduced them to me around 2001 on the Corner in Charlottesville. The Starbucks I usually go to on the way to work is GT and has had them for a few weeks, but the official launch has happened and you should be able to imbibe them across the land now. Becky says that the new gingerbread flavored creamer by.... I'm blanking on who makes it, but nonetheless, she says it's good. Not as good as Starbucks, but good.

In other Starbucks-related news, one cup of Starbucks coffee (not espresso drinks, but coffee) has as much caffeine as 8 red bulls. Holy crap. Granted, Starbucks doesn't have taurine or vitamins to give you that red bull buzz, but wow. That's almost poisenous, don't you think? 640 mg of caffeine. Wow. The up side: now I have a comeback when Jenna gets mad at me for sucking down five RBVs in a row like they're juice. Kinda.

In other holiday related news, my spirits have jumped the gun a bit and I've started listening to Christmas music. Yeah yeah, it's a bit early, but Run Run Rudolph is just a great song. Inquire within for your Amanda Mattos Christmas Mix.

I think I heard a new bone thugs song on the way into work today. I laughed. A lot. Ha, bone thugs.

Hilarious snippet from this week's 9:30 Club email: "If you're still unclear on the definition of "emo", Friday night's show is your chance to experience it live." (re: Bright Eyes) (note: I still don't like Bright Eyes. A couple choice songs, but no, I am not a fan. Drew, hush.)

Intriguing Lost theory: The island as pergatory. I'd heard this before but not paid it much mind until last night's episode. The others and the ones they take = innocents, moving on. Everybody else (per Goodwin's comment about taking good people) = bad people need to work their shit out on the island before moving on. Boone and Shannon had both faced their demons, and therefore died. The others take children, because they're innocent. There are gigantic holes in this theory (like, how could Jack or Rose be construed as bad people?, among other things). But it's intriguing nonetheless. Also, it was fun to see Mike from Ed, even though he was kind of a bastard and got killed off. That makes him the second Ed-import to appear on Lost, what with Jack marrying Carol Vessey and all. By the way, there's the back story I want cleared up the most: What in the world happened with Jack and his wife?? Also, things a dude on the radio said this morning: Echo is a priest. Ana Lucia is a cop/had a military father. Libby (the psychologist, AKA crazy Annie from Guidling Light, AKA the girlfriend on Titus) was Desmond's girlfriend that he left to go run his race. While A.L. is still a total bitchface, I've warmed up to her slightly after knowing that she was helping everybody and whatnot. She may be a little more paranoid and reactionary than our fearless leader Jack, but dude, what would YOU do on a haunted island? But, she's still a bitchface. Theory I've been knocking around but haven't formed at all yet: Bernard and Rose are some sort of unifying factor. They both seem to be Good. If we're working with mystical forces and whatnot here, perhaps they've got to bring everything back together to start to make things whole again, or for the group to really meet its purpose or something. I don't know. Oh, and I find the theory that Walt's apparitions are holographic projections bc. the island is all wired and whatnot (and that the whispers of The Others are also just speakered in sound) total b.s. That would be such a cop out if this all turned out to be at the hands of the Great and Powerful Oz. Pay no attention to the man behind the black smoke monster. Enough on that. I'm sure DCeiver will have much more interesting feedback on the whole topic of Lost later today.

PMevans82: i love how the president has kicked off this new "it's irresponsible for democrats to hold me accountable for my actions/mistakes" campaign...it's funny!

PS: It's that time again! Please send your current mailing address to AKMattos at gmail dot com.

I like Rogue Wave

This band Rogue Wave has been popping up in my life so much in the past week I couldn't avoid buying their album. I went on a bit of a soundtrack binge last week - Stubbs The Zombie (so awesome), Grey's Anatomy, and The OC Mix 5 (note: I already had about 70% of these songs this time around, but, as you may have noticed, I'm sorta kinda pressed for the show. I own the other soundtracks and now kind of feel like it's a collection. Also, the liner notes are always quite enjoyable, particularly this time, as they feature the "yearbook signatures" of the cast to one another.). Two of the three soundtracks featured R.W. songs. I really, really liked both songs. Then suddenly everytime I opened a magazine or a website, BLAM! There they were, all over it. Alright already, I get it! I bought their album, Descended Like Vultures, on iTunes last night. So far so great! I haven't given it a thorough listen (i.e., at least 3 times through) yet, but my hopes are high.

Another band that's been popping its little head up quite a bit lately is Clem Snide. I hearted them, a lot, in college. From shows in DC to general media love, they're popping up all over again. I'll have to revisit.

Check out the newest Music Roundtable on DCist.

Another thing I love and have loved for quite sometime has some news: Buffy! A new collector's edition DVD is coming out of alllllllll of the episodes. While I already have them all as individual seasons and won't be purchasing, this site's posted some of the special features, with some interviews and highlights. Enjoy, Buffyfiles.

So we meet again

That phrase is fresh in my head as I recently hung out with Molly Harkin, infamous for uttering it from the staircase at 14-ho-1 2nd year the morning after one college-crazy night or another. My deepest appologizes for the prolonged absence of s t r e t c h ing. What can I say, there are times when I have to leave the keyboard. It's sad, especially for you music fans out there, but it's true. Kidding, I'll leave musical key-tapping to Tyler (and these days, Jill), and I'll stick to the nerdy kind, that involves a lot of ctrl+alt commands.

While this weekend was very busy, it did not - I repeat, did not - involve a lot of drinking. Believe me, I was as shocked as you are. I gave it the old college try on Friday night, but within moments of alcohol enterming my system, I felt dizzy and almost fell over. Whoa there! WTF? After cabbing it home and tucking in early, I diagnosed myself with being completely exhausted, and a little dehydrated, from my severely taxing week of work. I am, ladies and gentlemen, getting old.

To further prove the getting-old-ness of me, I felt an overwhelming sense of accomplishment as I (with the help of WonderMom) finally assembled my filing cabinet on Saturday. For anyone that's been to my house anytime from when I moved in a year ago to last Friday, that's what was in the huge box on my porch. Yep, that's right! I now have the ability to file - look out! An organizeds t r e t c h is a dangerous stretch, so mind your p's and q's. (Quick etymology search after typing that). I also had lunch and saw Chicken Little with Samina, WonderRoomate of yore, got some face time in with John Lane, home from Army travels abroad, and stayed in and watched movies with Andrew. Re: me getting old. Sunday I was a lady who lunches, with moms (mine and Beth's) and Beth. We went to Brio where I had another unspeakably good meal. That place is fantastic.

I penned the weekly music agenda over at DCist. Check it out. I'll be heading up to B'more Saturday to see Hot Hot Heat with Club Canada. I also want to catch that Andrew Bird show on Thursday, but I don't know if I'm willing to settle for yet another week of not seeing The OC in real time. Speaking of The OC, tonight the "real" OC, Laguna Beach, wraps up its season. Those crazy kids and their antics, to whatever level of truth they actually show, have really enthralled me this year. I've sat through countless conversations about "well is it real? it can't be real!," but here's the thing: remember how you talked and acted and reacted when you were 17? It was JUST as vapid and hilarious as these guys. The parties may be planned, the conversations may be choreographed, but these are undoubtedly real high school kids. They're too stupid not to be. And I love it!! I wonder if Alex M. drops any weight when she leaves home. Baby girl has chunked UP over this season. We will now return to your regularly scheduled trash-talk-free zone.

In scary news, Liz got mugged on Friday night. Right outside her place. Apparently there's been a rash of robberies in her neighborhood lately, which doesn't make the whole incident any easier to swallow. Poor little stinker! I'll be traveling over there tonight to keep her company and adore the beautiful face of Wentworth Miller durring Prison Break. Last night's ladies tv night with Jayne, Jess and special guest Cat was so much fun. Grey's Anatomy is still holding steady as my favorite show of the moment. 2: The OC. 3: Gilmore Girls. 4: Prison Break. 5: Lost. Those are the shows that I'll actually plan things around, or go out of my way to *tape* (as our cable remote is currently on the injured reserves list, and we're awaiting its replacement in the mail; we should have about 5-0 business days left, which leaves me without the ability to DVR). I may seem like a literary and music focused hipster at times, but I'm still that brain-melting tv addict you all know and love. Fret not.

OK, ramble over. It's almost quittin' time. Happy Monday peoplettes!

Chuck Norris

Rather than forwarding this email to a random smattering of you, I'll just share it here. Here's a smattering of Chuck Norris jokes, courtesy of my roomate, Big White Mike. Before reading this, I hadn't really pondered the hilarity of Chuck Norris. I can tell you now though - it's big. Also, I've found that reading these in the voice of Ron Burgundy elevates their hilarity.

1. Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

2.Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.

3.Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.

4. Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead decided to punch his way out of his mother's womb. Shortly thereafter he grew a beard.

5. Chuck Norris lives by only one rule: No Asian Chicks.

6. The original theme song to The Transformers was actually "Chuck Norris -- more than meets the eye, Chuck Norris -- robots in disguise," and starred Chuck Norris as a Texas Ranger who defended the earth from drug-dealing Decepticons and could turn into a pick-up. This was far too much awesome for a single show, however, so it was divided.

7. Chuck Norris as the fourth Wiseman. He brought baby Jesus the gift of "beard." Jesus wore it proudly to his dying day. The other Wisemen, jealous of Jesus' obvious gift favortism, used their combined influence to have Chuck omitted from the Bible. Shortly after all three died of roundhouse-kick-related deaths.

8. Chuck Norris' girlfriend once asked him how much wood a woodchuck chuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood. Then he shoulded, "HOW DARE YOU RHYME IN THE PRESENCE OF CHUCK NORRIS!" and ripped out her throat. Holding his girlfriend's bloody throat in his hand he bellowed, "Don't fuck with Chuck!" Two years and five months later he realized the irony of this statement and laughed so hard that anyone within a hundred mile radius of the blast went deaf.

9. Chuck Norris once shot a German plane down with his finger by yelling, "Bang!"

10. To prove it isn't that big of a deal to beat cancer, Chuck Norris smoked 15 cartons of cigarettes a day for 2 years and acquired 7 differend kinds of cancer only to rid them from his body by flexing for 30 minutes. Beat that, Lance Armstrong!

11. When Chuck Norris' wife burned the turkey one Thanskgiving, Chuck said, "Don't worry about it honey," and went into his backyard. He came back five minutes later with a live turkey, ate it whole, and when he threw it up a few seconds later it was fully cooked and came with cranberry sauce. When his wife asked him how he had done it, he gave her a roundhouse kick to the face and said, "Never question Chuck Norris."

12. Chuck Norris frequently signs up for beginner karate classes, just so he can "accidentally" beat the shit out of little kids.

13. Chuck Norris can make a woman climax by simply pointing at her and saying, "booya."

14. Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.

15. Chuck Norris once went to a frat party, and proceeded to roundhouse every popped collar in sight. He then drank three kegs and shit on their floor, just because he's Chuck Norris.

16. Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

17.Chuck Norris took my virginity, and he will sure as hell take yours. If you're thinking to yourself, "That's impossible, I already lost my virginity," then you are dead wrong.

18. In one episode of Fresh Prince of Bel Air, Chuck Norris replaced Carlton for one scene and nobody noticed.

19. Little Miss Muffet sat on her tuffet, until Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked her into a glacier.

20. Chuck Norris punched a woman in the vagina when she didn't give him exact change.

21. Chuck Norris found out about Conan O'Brien's lever thatshows clips from "Walker: Texas Ranger" and is working on a way to make it show clips of Norris having sex with Conan's wife.

22. Chuck Norris has every copy of National Geographic in his basement. He also has the ability to lift every single one of them at once.

23. Chuck Norris once tried to sue Burger King after they refused to put razor wire in his Whopper Jr., insisting that that actually is "his" way.

24. When Chuck Norris plays Oregon Trail his family does not die from cholera or dysentary, but rather roundhouse kicks to the face. He also requires no wagon, since he carries the oxen, axels, and buffalo meat on his back. He always makes it to Oregon before you.

25. Takeru Kobayashi ate 50 and a half hotdogs in 12 minutes. Chuck Norris ate 12 Asian babies in 50 and a half minutes. Chuck Norris won.

26. The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.

27. Chuck Norris ruins the endings of Harry Potter books for children who just bought one for the hell of it. When they start crying Chuck Norris calmly says, "I'll give you something to cry about," and roundhouse kicks them in the face."

28. At the end of each week, Chuck Norris murders a dozen white people just to prove he isn't a racist.

29. If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may only be seconds away from death.

In a word, Awesome

I am speaking. of course, of my kick ass beloved REDSKINS!!! If my musings today make no sense or seem discombomulated, it's because I'm running on empty. Went to the game last night and didn't get back till about 2. Hay carrumba! I'd like to extend my condolences to my Hokie friends, tough break guys. And while I do say that with a bit of sarcasm, I'm not going to revel in it because I don't want to be a jerk. I will, however, rub it in to Eagles fans. I hate the Cowboys more than I hate the Eagles, but the Eagles' fans are the absolute worse. There was some serious tail-between-the-leggedness after the game last night, and I loved every second. For those of you that are fans of both Philly and Tech, I've got some tissues if you're still gushing out those big fat tears. For me, however, this was a great weekend in sports. I could write a much longer more detailed post about the tailgating and the game, but I'm too effing tired.

The Skins glorious win was also a nice little birthday present to the wonderful and beautiful miss Diana Patterson, who turns 25 today. Happy birthday to my oldest, dearest friend!

We interrupt your regularly scheduled blogcast

The life of the s t r e t c h has been winding all over the place these days, but not frequently to the interweb. I've got a backlog of post-foder stored en mi cabesa, so just hang in there and I'll be back with you shortly.

And, interestingly, I'm Ben Harper.

Smell my feet

Give me something good to eat. I may be a day late for blog or treating, but I was busy soaking in all the halloweeny goodness over the course of the past few days. Before I take you on the rundown, I'll unvail my costume to those of you that didn't see me this weekend. I was a spelling bee.

Friday
Bobby, Jack, Steven and Rob had a halloween bash. It's always good when guys are adament about enforcing costume wearing, cause more guys are inclined to participate. And participate people did! From Cookie monster to Ali G to Poindexter to Tom Sawyer to the funky monks to Elton John to a whoopie cushion to a member of the Jamaican bobsled team, the dudes were all decked out. Top nods for girls' costumes went to Felicia as rainbow bright, Marissa because she kept those roller skates on ALL NIGHT, and... um... that might be it. The slutty costumes are funny, but not that clever. But they have garnered more views on flickr than any other ones, so props to you Jill, Alyssa and JDub. Perhaps my favorite moment of the night was when Alyssa and Jill got there and both started cracking up when they saw me because, they had apparently put money on the fact that I'd be dressed as some sort of animal. Or maybe my favorite moment was when Meghan didn't weigh enough to squish the whoopie cushion. The decorations were crucial and the party was fun, even despite the fights that broke out. Way to go tuff guys.

More Friday pics here.

Saturday
Starting with brunch at Luna, careening through several naps, Saturday evaporated really quickly. Before I knew it mom was on her way over to see me in my costume and hang out (and take some of those posed costume pictures only your mom will ever take of you). After re-lettering my get up (with stick on letters, which, as it turns out, kittens find delicious), it was off to Kail's. His party last year was quite fun, my one and only slutty halloween costume had a blast there. This year when I arrived, it was much the same as its predecessor. A few people, my friends mainly camping out around the pong table in the basement. When I went upstairs to grab something out of my purse, I was shocked to find about 40 people in Kail's tiny little house. WOW! Best costumes included the bird flu and a really intricate Stewie costume, including a gigantic homemade head.

After a while, it was time to move over to Drew's "pun-named Halloween party." Also quite a good crowd there. Shortly after arriving, I encountered who is sure to remain one of the strangest people I've ever met. I went into the kitchen to mix the red bull I brought with me with some really high-quality vodka (read: really crappy vodka). I walked in and this woman dressed as a cop, who was at least in her mid 30s and seemed really out of place at this party, exclaimed, "Oh that's great!" She rushed over to me and lifted the bottom of my bee costume up. Now, as you can probably see in the picture above, I wasn't wearing pants. Just tights. So lifting up my costume was essentially showing everyone at the party my ass. And aside from the lobster-butt incident of 2002, that's not something I'm at all fond of doing. Being that this woman was more than a little scary, I awkwardly lauaghed, pushed my costume down, and turned away to continue mixing my drink. She came back over to me and lifted my costume up three more times. If she didn't look like she, with or without the help of her equally scary friends, could kill me in moments, I would probably have told her to back off. But she did, so I just increased the force with which I pushed my costume back down with each repeated incident. I finally got a moment of peace and finished mixing my drink, at which point she came back over, again, says, "Oooo, Red Bull Vodka? Can I have some?," takes my drink, and takes a sip. What. The. Hell. I made a (pun intended) bee line for the basement and avoided this strange strange person at all costs for the rest of the evening.

This was another great costume showing. See for yourself!

Glamour Don'ts


Boyscout Drew


Bee's Eye View


Jolly Green Giant


Mail Order Bride

More Saturday pics here.

Sunday
I cleaned the crap out of my l house and continued being domestic well into the evening, as I up and decided to make pork tenderloin and mushroom risotto. And in case you were wondering, it was deeeeeeeeeelicious. And Grey's Anatomy, which is quickly becoming my favorite show, was such a heart breaker. The Meredith/McDreamy stuff and those patients with the pole through them.... so much sobbing.

Monday
Work was hectic, but my entire department managed to break away for lunch at the Cheesecake Factory. Even though it's right here, I've only been two times. It was excellent, though their menu is so freaking overwhelming. Their portions are ginormous, which always leaves me far too full for their namesake. Oh well. My and my light up pumpkin necklace finished out the day and headed home to greet trick or treaters! I was all excited, assuming that bc. I live in garden style apartments, near a school, I'd get slews of kids! No. Not one. Not a single one. Around 7:30, I was bummed and Stinker was antsy, so we went over to mom's (so he could play with Tink). Mom had already had 22 trick or treaters, and about 10 more came while I was there. I've never seen our neighborhood so chock full of kids, it was awesome. I also got the same chatty little girl I got last year. This kid cracks me up! I couldn't even tell you what she was talking about, but she was just hilarious. The biggest treat of the evening was seeing the picture of Beth's new baby kitten Franklin! He seriously looks JUST like Stinker a few months ago. *Sniff! So cute! Now enourmous Norman will have a little friend to play with while Beth's huffing Christmas candles at Pier 1. I went to bed and got my trick: the WORST nightmare about Stinker dying. I woke up sobbing, petted him for a good little while and finally got back to sleep. So thanks to that I overslept by more than an hour, but still managed to make an it into work before any of the management. And so here we were, November 1. I hope your halloweens were spoooooooky too! If you've got pics, put the links in my comments!